Dec 28: "Dude -- the Big 12 is afraid of the Big 12! It's the only conference out there that, if all the conferences met in an alley, would kick its own ass."-- Bryan S.

Dec 2: "He wouldn't respect a gal who didn't have the decency to use proper English when she wanted him to stick his business where the sun doesn't shine." -- The Onion

Nov 30: "People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid." -- Soren Kierkegaard

Nov 20: "Definitions are not absolute; they are merely derivations of assumptions based on consistent correlations (and agreement on the definitions). -- me, 11/20/2003

Nov 16: "Life is about caution, determination, effort, and not knowing what comes next. Life is about baby steps." -- me, 11/16/2003

Oct 31: "I'll bite the hand that feeds me if it tries to force something down my throat." -- me, for reasons that may or may not be explained later

Oct 22: "The desire for the encoded illusion of pleasure is inherent in their programming." -- me, explaining why Persephone and the Merovingian desire a kiss and a blowjob, respectively

Oct 6: "You should call all the girls you almost asked out and then found out were married and had kids and take them all out for a MILF lunch." -- Clarissa Grayson

Sep 29: "I find myself questioning if I over-estimate your intellegence." -- Gracen Strong, to me (who else?)

Sep 18: "I have no idea what this is all about, but I disagree completely." -- me

Sep 15: "You are educated beyond your intelligence." -- one of my professor's professors

Sep 9: "What I want is what I've not got, but what I need is all around me." -- Dave Matthews Band, "Jimi Thing"

Sep 6: "Politics has become so dirty and ugly that good people are staying out of it." -- my dad

Aug 26: "For every grammatical mistake you find in my article, you may kill me." -- me, to Clarissa, who is also the school paper's copy editor

Aug 19: "I didn't realize they had ethnic people in Idaho." -- Clarissa Grayson

Aug 17: "Life, liberty, and the pursuit of all who threaten it." -- US Navy commercial

Aug 13: "She shows you her carry-on baggage, but you have no idea what she has checked!" -- Zach Brock

Aug 11: "I love God! He's so deliciously evil!" -- Stewie

Aug 1: "When I discovered that The Matrix was a trilogy, I should have known right away that the series was an open attack on my three-headed God: the angry Father, His loving Son, and their flying sidekick with superhero powers, the Holy Ghost." -- Brother Harry Hardwick

Jul 30: "Most of the time, being a writer means sitting in front of a computer and fighting against the urge to play Minesweeper." -- Max Barry

Jul 24: "We grow... and learn... and bash our head against the wall and say 'shit'." - Dalila Piña

Jul 22: "The hubris of foresight lends to costly mistakes, but the wisdom of hindsight does not include a time machine." -- me

Jul 18: "I'm turning 21, and I'm ignoring the real world until I'm satisfied with the new number." -- me

Jul 14: "Though the silenced opinion be an error, it may, and very commonly does, contain a portion of truth; and since the general or prevailing opinion on any subject is rarely or never the whole truth, it is only by the collision of adverse opinions that the remainder of the truth has any chance of being supplied." -- John Stuart Mill, from On Liberty

Jul 8: "Against all logic and instinct, sometimes the best thing to do is to just let go of the controls. Just experience the moment without attempting to control it. It doesn't mean you don't care, or that you don't want to do something. It simply means you care enough that you want to do the right thing, and not just anything." -- Dave Stroup

Jun 23: "Being a lesbian would be so great: it's like being a man, only with less embarrassing genitals." -- Jeff Murdock from "Coupling", via Tony D.

Jun 15: "If he calls me a Republican again, wash his mouth out with soap." -- me

Jun 13: "In war, the end almost always justifies the means." -- Saul Alinsky

Jun 8: "The first is about birth. The second about life. The third about death. I don't know though. Maybe it should be called The Matrix Resurrection." -- Keanu Reeves

May 29: "[The Matrix] conveys the dark, goofy thrill of reading Milton or Dante when you're really stoned." -- Bruce Sterling, "Every Other Movie Is the Blue Pill" (from Exploring the Matrix)

May 21: "[The] entire surface of the earth will be completely blanketed with AOL CDs by the end of 2007." -- The Lemon's History of the Internet

May 14: "I'm cursed to be a lover of that which I can learn the most from, not covet its beauty." -- me, conversation with Diana

May 7: My sister says, "Please! I have more morality in my pinky finger than most church-goers!" And I say, "Is that where you keep it?"

May 5: "Oh my God! That is so disgustingly cute!" -- Diana Foster

May 4: "Be liberal in what you accept, and conservative in what you send." -- Jon Postel, RFC Editor 1969-1998

May 3: "You're making me excited, and I don't say that to guys too often!" -- Rory Andrews

May 2: "I should go to bed, but there are pictures of naked women on the internet." -- Clarissa Grayson

May 2: "Get a bikini wax; I like a clean work space." -- Macaulay Culkin on "Will & Grace", 5/1/2003

Apr 26: "Just play your cards and enjoy your hand." -- Diana Foster, great advice for guys everywhere

Apr 11: "I think that's the first time I called someone a fancy pants in my life. I rock!" -- Rory Andrews

Apr 4: "it's easier to run / replacing this pain with something numb / it's so much easier to go / than face all this pain here all alone" -- Linkin Park, "Easier to Run" (Meteora, 2003)

Mar 29: "Only God may judge Osama bin Laden. It's our job to arrange the meeting." -- unknown

Mar 28: "You know the world has gone crazy when the top rapper is white, the top golfer is black, the French think we're arrogant, and Germany doesn't want to join in a war." -- Chris Rock

Mar 26: "A large number of people on this planet, to whom the comfort and security of a middle-class life is utterly unknown, find war and a barracks existence a step up rather than a step down." -- Robert Kaplan, The Coming Anarchy (p.44)

Mar 22: "Off the coast of South Korea, hundreds of US Marines spent the night glued to a mess hall television watching the war in Iraq -- and feeling a little left out." -- AP via Taiwan News, 3/21/2003

Mar 18: "The United Nations Security Council has not lived up to its responsibilities, so we will rise to ours." -- President George W. Bush, 3/17/2003

Mar 17: "Filetrading is as immoral as jaywalking." -- anonymous Slashdot user

Mar 13: "Let me stay where the wind will whisper to me, where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story." -- Evanescence, "Imaginary" (Fallen, 2003)

Mar 7: "When it comes to our security... we really don't need the United Nations' approval... We really don't need anybody's permission." -- George W. Bush, 3/6/2003

Feb 25: "I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you, but who can decide what they dream?" -- Evanescence, "Taking Over Me" (Fallen, 2003)

Feb 20: "Live for the moment -- it doesn't stay around for long." -- Andy Shellam, 2003

Feb 19: "It is a shocking experience to realize that your friends are either mindless, deluded, or malevolent." -- Stephen Pollard, London Times

Feb 17: "Anyone who claims that the United States is trying to get cheap oil, or free oil, by invading Iraq is foolish." -- Jimmy Carter, 12/9/2002 in Oslo, Norway, before accepting Nobel Peace Prize

Feb 9: "May the most that you desire be the least that you accomplish -- in baseball, as in life." -- Cal Ripken Sr, a toast at Cal Jr's wedding

Feb 6: "I wouldn't want you if you could be utterly dependent on me. I can't make that many decisions." -- me, to Audrey, 2/5/2003

Feb 2: "Ignorance is no excuse for being stupid." -- me, 2/2/2003 in conversation with Audrey

Feb 1: "Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt." -- Herbert Hoover

Jan 31: "I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts." -- Will Rogers

Jan 28: "There are many in this chilly world who would not care to part, / Tho' they dwell together in one home, and ought to have one heart, / And yet they live!" -- Caroline Norton, "They Loved One Another"

Jan 25: "It's like the fly telling the swatter not to swat or else." -- me, 1/25/2003

Jan 20: "My mind can only handle one thing at a time, and right now it's resting!" -- Dalila and me, 1/19/2003

Jan 15: "I've got my mind on the peace and security of the American people, and politics will sort itself out." -- George W. Bush

Jan 14: "I know I'm fucked up and got a lot to learn / So I'm dancing in the ashes of the bridges I burned" -- Crazy Town, "Change" (Darkhorse, 2002)

Jan 11: "The government does not create wealth [nor] create jobs, but...create[s] the environment in which firms and entrepreneurs will take risks, innovate, invest, and hire more people." -- Dick Cheney

Jan 9: "Just think: if you were my homework, I would be doing you right now!"