Dec 22-31: "word to your respective mothers" -- Nick Disabato

Dec 18-21: "Life's a bitch, but then again, so are you..." -- cr0bar

Dec 15-17: <@ch1ckie> but seriously crash, chicks are gonna like it with experienced guys, so get yer experience

Dec 11-14: "Life is sexually transmitted and considered by many to be always fatal. Get informed before you cause a potential catastrophe." -- Nick Disabato

Dec 10: "A business that makes nothing but money is a poor kind of business." -- Henry Ford

Dec 8-9: "Although we may do as we will, we cannot will what we will." -- Arthur Schopenhauer

Dec 4-7: "There's no better time to waste than never." -- Mike Yanosy

Dec 1-3: Girl: "I got you! I won!" Guy: "It's easy to win when you're the only one that knows the rules."

Nov 27-30: "Isn't it fitting that the Democrats' mascot is a jackass?"

Nov 12-17: callipygian or callipygous (adj.): having beautifully proportioned buttocks. (from Greek kallipugos: kalli-, beautiful; puge, buttocks.)

Nov 1-11: "There is only one absolute truth. This is absolutely true." -- Gene Poole

Nov 1-11: "There is an exception to every rule. This rule is its exception." -- Mark Grismer

Oct 27-31: "Yankees suck."

Oct 8-16: "No, no, those are mine..." -- Mike Farinelli

Oct 1-7: "Better times are inevitable, but there isn't a whole lot wrong with this moment either."

Sep 24-30: "The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

Sep 5-23: "Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like nobody's watching."

Sep 4: "Where's my watch?!" -- Dalila Piña

Aug 16-Sep 3: "Give me fuel! Give me fire! Give me that which I desire!" -- Metallica

Jul 20-Aug 15: "I'll try, and I'll try my hardest, but I'm about to get off, and I don't want to be on this thing anymore." -- Brandy Hendrix

Jul 18-19: "Wow, in both your pictures you look like an opossum caught in the headlights." -- Bailee DesRocher

Jul 8-17: "I ain't never said nothing bout no car no ways." (quintuple negative, I'm particularly proud of that)

Jul 1-6: "Damnit man. The beer did not drink the monkey." -- me, can ya tell?

Jun 18-30: "Life is like a disease for which we are too eagerly searching to cure." -- me

Jun 1-17: "How do you know when you're done?" -- Bethany Boykin

May 21-31: "Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress." -- Mohandas Gandhi

May 14-20: "You just had a near life experience!" -- Brad Pitt in Fight Club

May 6-13: "AFLAC!" -- the duck

May 1-5: "You must learn from your past mistakes, but not lean on your past successes." -- Denis Waitley

Apr 25-30: "It's not how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised; the mosquito is swatted."

Apr 21-24: "It takes courage to make a fool of yourself." -- Charlie Chaplin

Apr 17-20: "The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend." -- Abraham Lincoln

Apr 12-16: "To understand the world one must not be worrying about one's self." -- Albert Einstein

Apr 1-11: "The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year." -- Mark Twain

Mar 26-31: "Freedom is the opportunity to make decisions..." -- Kenneth Hildebrand

Mar 21-25: "Remember, your body is a temple; however, it is also your dancehall and bowling alley." -- Dharma Montgomery

Mar 16-20: "I've got white stuff on my face and you all over me!" -- Sarah Wiggins (describing a picture of us)

Mar 11-15: "It is better to have loved and won than to never have lost at all."

Mar 5-10: "In the beginning there was nothing. Then it exploded."

Mar 1-4: "I wanna be a porn star!" -- Zach Brock

Feb 26-29: "Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from delivering wordy evidence of the fact."

Feb 25: "I just got this sudden impulse to take off my pants." -- Megan Middleton

Feb 22-24: "I wish women weren't so daggum confusing." -- Zach Brock

Feb 16-21: "Yo quiero Taco Bell." -- Paco the Chihuahua

Feb 11-15: "The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper." -- Eden Phillpots

Feb 6-10: "A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time -- pills or stairs." -- Joan Welsh

Feb 1-5: "Sorrow is better than laughter, for by the sadness of the face the heart is made better." -- Ecclesiastes 7:3

Jan 27-31: "Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans: it's lovely to be silly at the right moment." -- Horace

Jan 24-26: "Only a gay guy would get mad about a surprise birthday party." -- Scott Siebenaler

Jan 20-23: "I love the idea of there being two sexes, don't you?" -- James Thurber

Jan 15-19: "Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs." (count 'em, all 26 letters are used)

Jan 7-14: "There is no pleasure in having nothig to do, but having lots to do and not doing it." -- Mary Little

Jan 1-6: "I used up all my sick days so I called in dead." -- my excuse over the holidays