Wednesday, February 28, 2001, 9:11pm

     Introspection was not one of my strong qualities when I was twelve years old, but if I had to pick a side that she either was or wasn't, I would definitely say that Tina was my first love. It may have been premature, but somehow I don't think so. I think that my recent past, especially my constant writing in this weblog, have helped to get me past all of that. Or perhaps I just gradually moved past it by some other means. Whatever the case, Tina will always hold a very special place in my heart as the first who truly occupied it. She was always and will always be a wonderful friend! I've shared the story of her moving away enough in the past for you lovely people, so I'll spare you of that now. Instead, I would like you to see her, finally. Here is a picture she recently sent to me. It was taken last spring during a Senior banquet in front of her high school. (Click the picture to see it enlarged.)

     Ain't she gorgeous? I make no comparisons to Claire, but I'd say these two are about the limits of God's handiwork.

Wednesday, February 28, 2001, 8:50pm

     What makes a work of literature, whether it be prose or poetry, a journal or novel or article or signature, great? What makes it a work of art? Answers to these questions were requested of my English classmates and me, and I think I was the only one in the class who was excited about the assignment. Don't mind me if I jump right in.
     What makes a story great and what makes a story art can narrowly be distinguished, for both are dependent upon the interpretation of the reader(s). However, what I believe makes a story great must meet the standards of a wider array of interpretations, while what makes a story a work of art is more standards-based. To be a work of art, I think a piece of literature must meet some requirement(s) based on innovation, creativity, and/or how its message is conveyed (and sequentially how it is received). To be great, a piece of literature must meet some requirement(s) based more on how it is received.
     To clarify what really makes literature art, one must set forth a working definition for art. Below is the definition and derivatives of the definition that I feel to apply in dealing with literature as art.

    art (n.): 1. Human effort to imitate, supplement, alter, or counteract the work of nature. 2. (a) The conscious production or arrangement of sounds, colors, forms, movements, or other elements in a manner that affects the sense of beauty... (c) The product of these activities; human works of beauty considered as a group. 3. High quality of conception or execution, as found in works of beauty; aesthetic value. 9. Printing. Illustrative material.

     What I believe makes literature art in the critical sense is the ability of the author to provoke reader reaction to such a degree that the work in question is allowed to stand up against time. However, I believe that all creative works of the mind, including literature, are works of art in that they are "efforts to imitate, supplement, alter, or counteract," and prolong the work of nature. Here, nature is open to the interpretation of the author; it is that author's job to convey the message(s) properly. Also, I believe that all creative works of the mind, including literature, are works of art in that they are the "conscious production or arrangement of...elements in a manner that affects the sense of beauty." To this end, it is important that [most] works of literature be coherent and interesting. I also believe that, in order to be considered a work of art, literature must be "illustrative" to some degree. What is to be illustrated is left up to the author.
     Often literature is criticized on such standards as truth and morality, and a variety of others. By truth I mean that the literature must line up with the readers beliefs. By this standard, a capitalist probably would not like Karl Marx's Communist Manifesto. However, I think that the capitalist could find artistic or literary merit to the work, despite its wrongness, and therefore the work could be considered art. It is for this reason that I believe such critical standards should not be considered when considering the greatness or artistic merit of a work of literature. Instead, I think the reader should simply rely on his or her own interpretation(s) and reaction(s) to the literature.

     Please, I'm begging you, email me with your thoughts on the subject, or your response to my thoughts.

Wednesday, February 28, 2001, 7:41pm

     As the month comes to a close, so does the first half of my second semester of college. Okay, so the first half of the semester isn't really until March 14, but, for all intents and purposes, it is Friday because that is when I will be taking my History midterm. I have no educational obligations next week, as Macon State has chosen to celebrate Spring Break before Spring begins. The third day after Spring Break is the halfway point in the semester, and also the drop date for any classes worth dropping. I will not be dropping any classes.
     The purpose of this email is to share a few details and concerns for next week. I shall be leaving for Mexico Beach as quickly as I can round up Claire, Claire's things, my things, and any other things that will take the trip in my vehicle. I'll guess that we'll be on the road at 1:30pm, give or take an hour. The current plan is to spend Friday night and the following four nights at Tony's beach house. You see, that's the beauty of this trip. Not only will it be on a very quiet beach, because Mexico Beach is not bothered by the popular attractions or urbanization that so much of Florida's coast is plagued with, but we will not have to pay for anything outside of provisions and transportation, because it is Tony's house. So thanks to Tony, we will all have an absolutely wonderful and relaxing week without financial struggles, unless we choose to splurge here and there. I don't plan to, but I won't say that it won't happen. Either way, I plan to have a very relaxed week with several friends and no parents. Oh happy day.
     So, being gone for roughly five days, one might wonder what is to happen around here. I hope that I can get online down there and upload my site from the beach. If I cannot, then I will simply bombard you all with my logs from the beach when I get back. If that is to be the case, then I apologize in advance for the lack of content between March 2 and March 7. Have no fear though. I will be enjoying myself!

Wednesday, February 28, 2001, 4:37pm

Here is an interesting news tidbit as I submitted it to slashdot:

     Excite news tells us in this article that an "earthquake measuring 7.0 in magnitude rattled Seattle Wednesday, sending buildings swaying and forcing the evacuation of thousands from their offices, schools, homes and hospitals." Reports state that no one was injured, thankfully, although several buildings and roads were damaged. Let us also take note that Bill Gates may be the richest man in the world, but he is still no match for Mother Nature - the quake interrupted his speech. Over at CNN you can download the video of the interrupted speech.

     Of course, as I always do, I forgot to link to my home page in my submission and instead linked to a phony email address. I will be pissed, one day, when I finally get /.'d, and all people see is an email address that they cannot decipher.

Wednesday, February 28, 2001, 3:56pm

     My site is not one of Reb's sites, or it hasn't been interesting or thought-provoking lately. One of those, or perhaps all. Casual observation. I make those sometimes. And I'm incredibly sleepy. I think I want to take a nap, but I really shouldn't. I have so much stuff to do, and I'm too tired to read right now. Oh dear.

Wednesday, February 28, 2001, 3:35pm

     Do you know what happens when you eat a dozen chocolate covered assorted nuts and candies while drinking a highly carbonated beverage? You gradually develop a minimally euphoric feeling known to many as a
sugar rush.

Ironically, this is not far from the feeling you get when reading the web page of the same name. Weird.

Wednesday, February 28, 2001, 3:20pm

     Mmm, candles. Fire. *ouch* Okay, note to self: don't hold fingers over flames. My hands feel grimy. I've been to school, my mom's, here, there, and everywhere between, and everything that my hands have touched today seems to be staying with me in the form of a very thin layer of ... whatever it is ... that just makes my hands feel very warm, and so the rest of me feels very warm, almost uncomfortably. Hold on, please, while I break to wash my hands .   .   .   .   .   .   . Ah, that's better. That was interesting, too. There wasn't enough soap in the bottle for the squeeze top to pull, so I had to unscrew the top, run water in the bottle, and pour the soapy water on my hands to wash them. The soap bottle is fairly clean now. Unfortunately, though, my hands are now cold from the cool air reacting with my now moist hands. I guess I just can't win. Oh, wait, they are slowly drying and feeling ... normal. This is a good sign.

     My weblog for February is the second largest of any month in the history of my weblogging, ever, second only to December. And I still have the rest of today left. For that, today's mp3otd will be Collective Soul's "December."

mp3otd: Collective Soul - December.mp3

     Oh... I am too clever. If only February had those extra three days that December had - then February would be several kilobytes longer! Muahaha! *SPLAT* Ouch. Gotta watch for those windshields.

Tony: "There is a lot going on in your life that you log, Paul."
me: "Yes. Taking the time to log them provokes reflections and responses, and reflections and responses promote solutions. Although I never thought about it that way before."

     And incidentally, days are stressful. In being forced to read eighteen gazillion pages of history and packing for the most awesome vacation ever, I have no time to spend with Claire. I want you, Claire. I need you, Claire. But I have to wait until Friday. *pout* People tell me that I should keep this kind of stuff to myself because it bothers them. Well, this is my web log! Not yours! You will not be the one reading back over it in [insert positive integer] years! I will! So, I am "keeping it" to myself. Now that my methods are justified, let's kick it. I'm here to bust this groove.

Tuesday, February 27, 2001, 9:55pm

     Seven candles. Seven dwarfs. Seven hills of Rome. Seven wonders of the world. Seven seadly sins: pride, covetousness, lust, anger, gluttony, envy, and sloth. I have my proud moments. We all are arrogant or conceited at times. I have my covetous moments. We all want things we don't need. I have my lustful moments. We all have our obsessive desires here and there. I have my angry moments. No one is without anger once in a while. I have my gluttonous moments. We all have our indulgences. I have my envious moments. We all want to be someone else or have what someone else has at times. I have my slothful moments. Everyone knows that I have a lazy side. We are all lazy sometimes. In fact, I think that being lazy is the American way, so I am quite positive that were are all guilty of that one. What does this mean? Nothing, really. I'm trying to draw a parallel to the seven candles, and the first thing that popped into my head were the seven deadly sins. This is the best parallel to draw, I think, because it provokes introspection. We are all imperfect. We were not meant to be perfect, or else we would be. (How's that for logic?!) So sit back and take a moment to reflect on your own imperfections, and think twice before committing your next imperfect act. Perhaps, by taking baby steps, we really can make the difference and make this place better.

     (This is the first update I have ever written on my laptop. I might as well get used to it. If I am to update from the beach next week, this will be the origin of such updates.)

Tuesday, February 27, 2001, 8:28pm

     I hope you guys like the new title graphic. It took me twelve seconds to switch from the old one. You better be appreciative. Now before I go and read for the next three hours, I would like you to check out Will Pate, someone I'm sure Tony could love to hate. (Well, maybe not, but he considers himself to be a "progressive liberal," while Tony is a pronounced conservative.) I would like to consider myself a conservative liberal, but then people apply all those political meanings to it, and I just don't care any more. Unless I directly say I mean something in the political sense, never assume that I do! Also, I think I am going to model my about page by Will's. I hope he doesn't mind. Thank you, and good night.

Tuesday, February 27, 2001, 7:30pm

Come on baby, light my fire.

Tuesday, February 27, 2001, 6:42pm

     What does this look like to you? "It may look like this chick is lunch, but it and two other baby chicks have been adopted by a cat in the Spanish city of Lalin. The cat was taking care of the three chicks even as she mothered her three kittens in a cardboard box where the whole interspecies family sleeps." Note the kitty's paw supporting the chick...
     Aww, now isn't that special... (I can imagine Tony saying that.)

Tuesday, February 27, 2001, 5:43pm

I really should stop updating within sixteen minutes of the last one.

     A first occurred today. My brother drove off in my car. That could imply that he did so without my permission; that is not the case. I figured that allowing him to use my car would incline me to fulfill my educational necessities (read: read that damn history book). Besides, my dad wasn't home with his car and my brother had no other vehicle to drive. What was I to do? Say no? Well, under any and all other circumstances, yes. But not this time. I have priorities. And my priorities have landed me here for the night.

     I find AIM conversations more of a nuisance to read when people do not insert the proper line breaks.
Claire: Allie rolled around in crap today Claire: isn't she sweet! jpmccord: um... heh. i guess so! Claire: no...she's not jpmccord: and you cleaned it off... aren't you sweet! jpmccord: and ... smelly :-) Claire: and yes i am Claire: not smelly though Claire: although, after she did that...I sprayed her down...now I am cleaning up crap on the carpet that she did too jpmccord: icky. jpmccord: it's okay. i associate any scent of yours with goodness anyway. you would probably have my mind convinced that the smell of poo is a good smell if i ever smelled it on you. :-) Claire: hehe jpmccord: don't go taking that too seriously, now. Claire: don't worry

Tuesday, February 27, 2001, 5:27pm

     Matt's teacher claims that the world is ruled by the laws of physics. Matt claims that the world is not ruled by the laws of physics, but, because numbers provide physics with meaning, the world is ruled by numbers. I claim that the world is not ruled by numbers, but, because numbers are simply conceptual, the world is ruled by concepts (or ideas). I do not feel as though I need to explain myself much in this regard. The fact is that numbers - along with time, space, politics, entertainment, attraction - are only built on concepts in our minds. This can be taken back to the question, "What is real?" but I don't want to do that right now.

     Reb makes note of my response to her response to her conversation with Erich. She also labels the comments "freedom of speech?" I am not trying to assume what she meant by that, but this morning when I first wrote my piece, I felt that I could be coming off as rude or condescending, or that in using Reb as an example in that last paragraph, she may have felt as though I were referring to her specifically. This was not the case; I was using her words and Erich's to share my views on the subject. Either way, I don't feel as though any relations have been damaged; I just felt that I should cover my bases.
     Also, she mentioned that "nothing quite warms [her] heart more than the knowledge that people read [her] crazy website." I happen to share that sentiment. Seeing her responses to me on her website... Oh, what a rush!

     Erich praises the new Dave Matthews Band CD, Everyday, this afternoon. I am going to copy one statement of his because it applies directly to me as well: "I confess, I did not buy this album. I had to hear it, though. EVERY SINGLE PERSON I TALKED TO about this CD has given it nothing but extreme praise and acclamation." When I first heard "What Would You Say?" on the radio about seven years ago, I knew that I loved it and that I wanted it, but I had no idea who it was at the time. Months later I began to hear "Ants Marching" and had discovered that the band was the Dave Matthews Band, and, as soon as the opportunity presented itself, I bought the CD Under The Table And Dreaming. The only CD that I have bought since that I craved more at the time of the purchase was Creed's Human Clay, and only because I did not buy it until it was seven months old. Skipping ahead, I felt the same for the next Dave Matthews Band album, Crash when I began to hear the new releases it produced in 1996. I was enthralled. (I've used that word three times today. Hmph.) Skipping ahead again, I felt still the same for their third studio album, Before These Crowded Streets; however, the opportunity to buy the album and the finances to support the purchase never presented themselves at the same time, and I have yet to buy this album. Fear not; I will. And your little dog too - err I mean, and the new album too.
     Dave Matthews Band is wonderful, and I plan to own all of their studio albums. I do not, however, plan to own any of their live albums. I have heard that they are wonderful, but I am almost strictly a non live-album kind of guy. I will reserve the live albums for my mother; she loves them as much as I, and I can always borrow her copy of Dave's Live At Red Rocks if I want to hear it. Mmmm, Dave.

     And finally, on a sidenote, nickd.org inspired the creation of my kickass "trance mix" CD that I created a couple hours ago. Thanks Nick, for your incessant love of some kickass music. You are probably my biggest influence for that genre of music; consider yourself blessed.

Tuesday, February 27, 2001, 4:42pm

     After spending two hours of reading two of the five chapters that I should have read by my Friday morning History midterm exam, I have come to the conclusion that the eight-year period between January 20, 1993, and January 20, 2001, were not the most damaging, by reputation or otherwise, to the office of the United States President. No, I have concluded that that claim belongs, as it likely always will, to the eight years between March 4, 1865, and March 4, 1873. If I could extend this to ten years, I could also include the Panic of 1873, but that did not begin until September 18 of that year.
     Why was this period so horrible? Well, it started by having one of the greatest persons ever to lead our country, Abraham Lincoln, being assassinated in April of 1865. Andrew Johnson took the helm for the next [almost] four years, but unlike Lincoln, he was unfamiliar with the importance of compromise. One after another, he vetoed nearly every good bill (and some of the bad ones, too) Congress could throw at him. When he finally "broke the law," Congress was able to impeach him, and he fell one vote short of being convicted and removed from office. Pity. Beginning in 1869 former Union General Ulysses S Grant took office. Do not get me wrong, this man was a great man and deserved the office of President. However, he did not make the best of presidents, and for that our country suffered somewhat. His tenure was filled with controversy: the Ku Klux Klan reaked havoc, Boss Tweed looted New York, Native Americans were "appropriated," arguments for and against women's and blacks' rights ensued, and much more. A nation had been divided by Civil War, and several new policies had been adopted as a result, and the people of that nation could not comprehend their importance and could not accept them so suddenly. As for the scandalous nature of Grant's presidency, I cannot place the blame fully on him. When he first began to uncover the scandals, he strongly responded by saying, "Let no guilty man escape." However, when he discovered that his close friends, colleagues, and personal advisors were among the guilty, he began to turn his shoulder, and he made attempts to prevent investigation. I'm sure I could write a full paper on why I believe these eight years were the worst for the office; this is only a sketch of the surface.
     Runner-up for the worst eight years for the presidency would have to go to the Harding-Coolidge-Hoover years, roughly November 1921 to November 1929. I do not care to share near the detail as above, but suffice it to say that Harding was not the best of presidents, and Black Tuesday didn't do much for Hoover's reputation.
     I'm tired of writing about history now, and I have about 150 pages left to read.

Tuesday, February 27, 2001, 4:21pm

     Perhaps the greatest CD ever created has just been written and is currently playing in my stereo system. I labeled the thing "Trance Mix" due to the nature of the music on board. This CD has upon its birth inherited the role of my favorite CD and my driving CD. I also attached the most kickass cover and inlay for any CD ever created. Perhaps the track listing will enthrall you:

1.	Fatboy Slim - Rockafeller Skank (Mulder's Urban Takeover mix)	5:54
2.	The Orb - Wish You Were Here (Pink Floyd)	6:20
3.	Rob Dougan - Furious Angels	8:12
4.	Moby - Natural Blues (Katcha mix)	6:26
5.	Apollo Four-Forty - Vanishing Point	7:27
6.	Orbital - Bedtime Story (Madonna)	7:44
7.	Orion - Eternity (Acoustic mix)	4:20
8.	Moby - God Moving Over The Face Of Waters	7:21
9.	Rob Dougan - Clubbed To Death (La Funk Mob mix)	8:08
10.	Fatboy Slim - Right Here, Right Now	6:29
11.	Apollo Four-Forty - Stealth Mass In F#m	7:03
12.	Moby - Porcelain (Trin mix with Enya)	4:01

     Is that not just the coolest CD ever created? Forgive me for leaving off [insert band, track, etc. here]. Be reminded that this is my CD and that I do not have every song in creation at my fingertips - or I should say, readily available. I can't think of them all. I apologize most for excluding Underworld from this compilation - I just couldn't find any particular piece that enthralled me.
     Note that Rob Dougan (Rob D) takes over 20% of my CD. I HEART ROB DOUGAN.

Tuesday, February 27, 2001, 10:55am

mp3oac: The Orb - Pink Floyd Remixes - 04 - Wish You Were Here (Atmosfear mix).mp3

     Note that that does not say "mp3otd," but "mp3oac," for mp3 of all creation. This is by far the best piece of musical genius I have ever heard or ever will hear. My body literally crept and crawled with chills while hearing this. Holy excrement. Now I have nothing left to live for. I think I wet my pants.

Tuesday, February 27, 2001, 10:09am

     Erich and Reb engaged in a healthy debate last night, it seems. I do not know the nature of their actual exchange, but I do know what they have shared via their respective weblogs, and now I feel somewhat compelled to offer my two cents. Even a few of you Atheists that view my weblog should find some merit to this "rant" of mine and theirs; whether you believe or not, some interesting points and questions are raised, and I'm sure the extra thought that it provokes would be a healthy thing. Before I get started, however, I would like to point out that when Reb said, "despite your problems with the church," not referring directly to Erich, I immediately remembered Erich saying, "I have no problem... I just don't agree with it all." If you can guess without reading their respective weblogs, this "rant" concerns the Christian church, and more precisely a few conflicts with methods of teaching, doctrine, and principle.
     The regulative principle: "The acceptable way of worshiping the true God is instituted by himself, and so limited by his own revealed will, that he may not be worshiped according to the imaginations and devices of men, or the suggestions of Satan, under any visible representation, or any other way not prescribed in the Holy Scripture." In other [Erich's] words, "If it's not in the Bible, don't do it." Erich has no qualms with this, and neither do I. This principle comes into play in Erich's church, however, because they do not allow the use of musical instruments in worship. Perhaps they are viewed as suggestions of Satan or concoctions of the imaginations or devices of men. Perhaps they are treated as not following the "pattern of worship," as Erich suggests. No matter how musical instruments are perceived, Erich's church does not allow them because they violate the regulative principle. However, quoting the Bible, Erich is very quick to point out that musical instruments used in worship are indeed in the Bible, and therefore no such rule should exist in his church. So why, then, does his church ban the use of musical instruments?
     Erich's second argument is that of paedo-baptism, or the baptism of infants. Claire, my mother, and I had a brief conversation about the baptism of infants on Sunday evening, and I believe that I was the only one in support of Erich's position of this argument. In the days of John the Baptist, you were to "believe and be baptized." Erich's and my argument here is that the child is too young to believe or not believe. It can be perceived that, as it is the duty of all Christians to spread the truth of the Lord and make the nonbelievers believe, it is any Christian parents' duty to make their child believe. The keyword here is believe. The child must still believe of his own accord. Certainly, the parents taking the child to church throughout his youth will effect that decision, but it is still his (or her) decision. And nowhere in the Bible is there any description of any paedo-baptism. Believe precedes baptism.
     My only concern in holding that view is with the death of an unbaptized child. One would argue that the child would not go to Heaven because he or she did not believe. Another would argue that the child would not go to Heaven because he or she had not been baptized. I would argue that, if our God is as holy and just as He and we claim him to be, then the child will go to Heaven because of our God's goodness. However, there is then the argument that the child is too young or has not developed or... I can delve deep into my philosophical roots here, but it would boil down to the child more or less being erased from existence because he or she did not believe, had not been baptized, and was not evil and so could not be sent to Hell. There are theories of purgatory or limbo or whatever you want to call it, but I would like to think that if one is too young to be allowed into Heaven, then the same rule applies for Hell. Either way, I believe that no child will be sent to Hell because he or she had not been baptized, because of my "belief before baptism" philosophy.
     Erich's final argument was his treatment in another church that he was visiting. When talking to other members of the congregation, he felt as though their beliefs were being forced upon him as the only way, and that according to them his previous traditions of worship were invalid and useless. This is the complaint that I make about Christianity most, although it usually does not concern other Christians, but non-Christians. I will take this time to also respond to Reb's response to me a few days ago. She claimed that, as a Christian, she "could not be silent concerning His message. [She] cannot stand by and be so "tolerant" as to watch someone walking the road to Hell and never tell them the Truth." I do not disagree with this, but as an Evangelist, she is a bit more manifested by this. I believe that, by having religious discussions and debates and by posting long rants filled with stuff like this on a weblog, I am doing my job to spread that "Truth."
     I believe that there is a time and place for these things. I do not believe that Reb should simply be tolerant of the evil in the world, and I do not believe that she should simply rub in the Truth to anyone that she feels may not know it. It really boils down to the difference between rubbing it in and simply sharing an opinion or belief. Whereas it is the Christian's duty to spread the Truth and, as a side-effect, the religion itself, I believe that anyone who really believes and follows the Christian faith is already doing enough. We leave our markings and teachings in everything that we do, and those around us that do not believe are up to their necks in it. Believe me, we are doing our jobs in that respect; it just happens that that job is not as difficult as it used to be. If you feel as though you are not doing enough, then, by all means, get out and do more. If you are satisfied, like me, that you are doing your job, then concentrate on other things. Perhaps other aspects of your beliefs, or perhaps other aspects of life.
     "Life is short, be happy."

Monday, February 26, 2001, 10:27pm

     I just discovered Rebecca Blood's site, and I liked it so much that I added it to my linky bar to the left, there. Of particular interest to me are the weblog and essays, but the entire site is just excellent. I share with you, now you share with the world!

Monday, February 26, 2001, 10:00pm

     This NASA press release states the claim of an international team of researchers that the "magnetitie crystals in the martian meteorite ALH84001 are of biological origin." What the hell does that mean? That means that at some point prior to that rock's arrival on our lovely planet, some biological entity had come in contact with it. What does that mean? That means that there is life out there after all, simply put. What do I think it means? I think it means someone out there is throwing shit at us; watch your head for extra-terrestrial waste. Now before you skeptics take your turns to crumble this press release into a pile of garbage, think of the article's source. This is NASA. They have been studying and researching the artifacts for several years, and they are convinced enough of their discoveries to put their reputation(s) on the line. There is not a group that does that lightly.

"I am convinced that this is supporting evidence for the presence of ancient life on Mars."
     - Kathie Thomas-Keprta, an astrobiologist at the space center and the first author of a study appearing Tuesday in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

     The RIAA claims that Napster is responsible for a drastic drop in their earnings, this year. However, this article (with links to several other convincing sources) proves that not only did Napster not hurt the RIAA's profits, but also that the RIAA is lying through their teeth. Example: The RIAA claimed that Napster was responsible for the RIAA's 39% drop in music sales last year. What the RIAA doesn't tell you is that those numbers only refer to CD singles, and only the unit sales, not revenue. Due to their raise in price, the actual drop in sales for CD singles was 36%. How much do CD singles count toward the RIAA's profits? About 1%. "Yes, that's right: they lost 36% of 1% of their profits," but it is being reporting it as a 39% loss, with no mention of the number referring only to CD singles or 1% of their revenue.
     The article continues to explain that the RIAA's total revenue from digital media (CDs, etc.) to which Napster is relevant has actually increased by a significant margin. The RIAA actually raised the average price of a full-length CD by about $0.37, and they still managed to sell millions more. Total profit here: over $400 million, or about a 3.1%, more than last year. But full-length CDs only account for most of the RIAA's revenue. The RIAA did have weak performance in the other 8%. CD singles, as already noted, dropped revenue by 36%. But the real casualty percentage-wise was cassingles, which lost over 90% of its revenue from last year. Overall, cassette revenue dropped about $436 million. Gee, why could that be? Maybe because nobody wants them?
     Okay, I have shared enough of the details. The point is that the RIAA is lying through their teeth, getting away with it, and Napster is suffering for it. I honestly have no problem with the "Great Napster Debate" (as I call it) going in favor of the RIAA, if the truth is on their side. The point in this dissertation is for you to read the article and form your own opinion. Don't just take my word for it.

Monday, February 26, 2001, 8:02pm

     This is not really related to anything at all, but I think Natasha's boyfriend and I are very similar. He and I write simlarly, anyway. The fact that his reputation as a "cowboy" is even questioned lends to the fact that perhaps we are not the same (okay, so that's an understatement), but he seems like a cool guy regardless of the fact. Oh, and the fact that I really don't know Natasha or Daniel at all doesn't help me to make my point, so I'm not going to mention that.

     Confidential to Matt (everyone else look away): Didn't you say something about some network you were working on? Not like I really have any time to put into it right now, but I still haven't heard anything about it. Just a status check.

Monday, February 26, 2001, 2:13pm

     Which is greater: the lack of sleep or the power of caffeine? After today, I can tell you that the bounciness that caffeine produces far outweighs the dullness that the lack of sleep produces. I recently read that stimulants such as caffeine, if taken in low doses, such as a cup of coffee or two in the morning, promote confidence and awareness and generally provide for a better mood. I now fully believe that, for despite getting exactly zero sleep last night, I have been in a better mood today than, well, most days like this.

     Today I was given an interesting assignment. I must write a short paper (a paragraph or two) on what makes a particular piece of literature great or a work of are. To be great and to be art are two different things, but the circumstances by which each is decided are largely the same - just different types of interpretation. Other assignments include studying for my History midterm on Friday, which means reading about 250 pages of my History book - yikes. I am not worried about any other assignments. I'll be on the road for the beach in four days!

Monday, February 26, 2001, 6:24am

     Erich, the name of the song is "Outside," and it's Fred Durst (of Limp Bizkit) and Aaron Lewis (of Staind). You're welcome.

Monday, February 26, 2001, 6:19am

     After inadvertently and indirectly spending eight hours on this paper, you had better believe that you are going to read it! I believe it is my best paper on any literary work ever. It concerns a story by Amy Tan called Two Kinds. Read my paper: A Daughter's Point of View. While you're at it, check out my other two significant works of forced literature this semester: a paper on Delia Jones, the lead character from a Zora Neale Hurston short story, and an interesting Psychology assignment in which I had to analyze any character in the movie by methods of one of the major schools of Psychology. I chose Jamal Wallace, a Humanistic Approach.

     Rock on! I actually have time for breakfast this morning! I wonder if I should have cereal or pancakes or eggs or bacon or... holy sweet mother of the earth and everything gracious! I've forgotten what breakfast is! Beef, it's what's for dinner. Sure. But what the hell is for breakfast?! I need to stay up typing papers all night more often; this is a luxury that I cannot afford to neglect!
     Oh, and caffeine is a gracious and wonderful thing. Caffeine made me through the night. Claire and Tony helped too. And thank Tony for proofreading my paper, as I did his. We rule. We will get A's. Good morning, Vietnam.

Monday, February 26, 2001, 5:15am

mp3otd: Vertical Horizon - Shackled.mp3

     Why would anyone in his right mind volunteer to stay up all night before going to school bright and early the next morning? Ask me later; I'm having my paper proofread. Sleep is overrated anyway.

Monday, February 26, 2001, 12:22am

     I'm not going to bother you by putting this on the main page, but Tony and I had a long argument over the credibility of "blog" as a word, and it was developed into this. I think you will enjoy the exchange. According to my log of the conversation, the exchange lasted exactly one hour (11:17:05 to 12:16:57, close enough). That was only one hour? Wow. And I must type a paper now.

Sunday, February 25, 2001, 11:16pm

     The best article ever: Online Journals. And the related MSNBC news article that sparked it: Who's Blogging Now? Do you know what the true purpose of a weblog is? To present the present as the past in the future. Memory. Entertainment. Therapy. Whatever. At least we can look back and follow our steps if we record them.

Sunday, February 25, 2001, 10:29pm

Damn you, Chris Carter. I did not want to wait five more weeks to see Fox Mulder.

     I found the name of the man that spoke before Elton John's and Eminem's electrifying duet: Michael Greene! I have to thank FOX News for being the only news source on the entire world wide web to give me that man's name after searching for four days. Thank you, FOX News, but your site is a bitch to navigate. ARE YOU INSANE? Add a search feature... geez.
     Next on my list? The transcript for Michael Greene's entire speech... I could put that together myself, since I have the mp3, but I would much rather copy and paste it from someone else. Ah, the "Great American Dream:" to be lazy.

Sunday, February 25, 2001, 9:00pm

     Turn signals. Blinkers. For God's sake, use them! I am going to share a little antisecret (don't you just love it when writers coin their own words for their own purposes?) with you: I hate drivers that don't use turn signals. For crying out loud, your car comes with them; USE THEM. I also hate it when drivers use their turn signal when they're already half into their lane change or turn. It's like, "thank you, sir, for telling me where you just came from." I also hate it when people brake for several seconds before finally using their turn signal. For several seconds I'm wondering why the hell this person is breaking and I'm taking it casually, because I am waiting on them to take their foot off of the brakes and continue accelerating. It's not like I am assuming that they will, but I absolutely hate slowing down for no reason. (Don't worry, I don't put myself in dangerous situations in this regard.)
     I could go into much further detail of the intricate ways how not to use (or ignore) your turn signal. Instead I would like to tell you the ways you should use your turn signal. When you are going to move into another lane, whether it be a turn lane or otherwise, turn on your blinker at least a full second in advance. Occasionally a lane change is spontaneous, and this can be forgiven. If you are moving into a lane to make a turn and braking will be necessary, then turn your blinker on well in advance. If you are in a lane and traffic is behind you and you will have to brake, activate your turn signal well in advance to make sure that all following vehicles no exactly why you are breaking. If there is no traffic, use the signal. Not using your signal in no traffic means you are isolated, and therefore you are a cop-magnet.
     This is not applicable in all situations, just most. There are exceptions to the rule(s). Good day.

Sunday, February 25, 2001, 3:47pm

I doubt that anyone cares, but I made this:



So there. Right click, save as, enter filename, etc. You can use that image to link to me, if you like. You can even edit the image for your convenience, if you like. If you would rather not use it, text works. Whatever. It is there for you, not me. If you would rather not link to me, or do not have a web page in which to do so, then you should probably disregard this message in its entirity.

Sunday, February 25, 2001, 2:31pm

mp3otd: Eminem & Elton John - Stan (Grammy Awards).mp3

     "Let's not forget, folks, that sometimes it takes tolerance to teach tolerance." I am really surprised at the weak media coverage of this event, the Elton John and Eminem duet at the Grammys. Do not read that incorrectly please. I said "weak media coverage," meaning they are not covering it nearly as completely as I would like. One obvious nuisance that I refer to here is my inability to locate the name of the man who gave the four minute speech introducing Elton John and Eminem. I have located several articles on the event, but they all speak of the same things, mostly the cloud of contraversy surrounding the duet. Whatever.

     Sure, the 43rd annual Grammy Awards featured performances by Faith Hill and Destiny's Child, as well as a first time host, Jon Stewart of E's "The Daily Show," but the live telecast's most anticipated event - the moment that's really going to keep everyone's hands off the remote control - is the bizarre duet between gay basher (in his lyrics, anyway) Eminem and gay community diplomat Elton John. The icon of sweet melodies and extra large sunglasses will perform folk singer Dido's vocal part on "Stan," Eminem's hit tune about a homicidal, obsessed fan from the obscenity laden, over eight million selling The Marshall Mathers LP - which also happened to be up for the Album of the Year Grammy.
     As many industry observers expected, news of Eminem's Grammy honors (even before the duet announcement) triggered a storm of protest from activist groups such as the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, which released a statement saying that it was "appalled that John would share the stage with Eminem, whose words and actions promote hate and violence" against gays and lesbians. "We were all flabbergasted that [John] would do this," GLAAD's news media director Cathy Renna told Entertainment Weekly. In anticipation of such backlash, John told the Los Angeles Times last week that he would "rather tear down walls between people than build them up. If I thought for one minute that he was hateful, I wouldn't do it."
     Controversy aside, the duet was likely to benefit its participants more than it would harm them - especially the real Slim Shady, who was up for four Grammys. "Eminem obviously gains more from the pairing as it almost puts a seal of approval on the rapper's claim that his lyrics are not meant to be taken seriously," says Steve Gottlieb, a senior editor at the trade magazine CVC Report. [After listening to both of Eminem's CDs, I can tell you that Eminem is not meant to be taken seriously. His words do not represent his beliefs, but only the truths that can be found on the streets across America and across the world.]
     Eminem's audience consists largely of teens and young adults, but the Grammys tend to attract a wide range of viewers, many of whom might have only heard of Eminem through negative press reports about his violent lyrics and his now notorious arrest last summer in a Detroit area suburb on weapons charges. Seeing the 28-year-old rapper paired with the pop music elder could only boost his reputation. "Eminem is going to be tapping people who probably never would have paid attention to him. Moms and dads will definitely be watching that duet!" said Lisa Worden, a rock DJ for Los Angeles radio station KROQ.
     Indeed, Eminem's rep Dennis Dennehy told Entertainment Weekly that the idea for the duet originated with the rapper and his manager. "It's an opportunity he wanted to explore as a performance," Dennehy explains. Eminem and company contacted executives at record label Interscope's owner, Universal, who helped to solicit John and the Recording Academy's interest. Dennehy, however, insists that Eminem was not just trying to polish his public image. "Regardless of what people are saying, Elton's been one of the more vocal artistic supporters of Eminem - as another artist. He's said nothing but nice things about Eminem from the beginning," says Dennehy.
     Other industry observers point out that John has a history of ignoring politics in favor of his musical tastes. "Back when there was that huge controversy over Axl Rose's antigay comments on the Guns N Roses song "One In A Million," Elton John went ahead and performed with him at a Queen benefit show," says Gottlieb. "Being an artist, Elton can probably differentiate one's art or lyrics from one's own personal view."
     Moreover, John's image has proven resilient. The singer has had 57 top 40 songs throughout his three decade career - second only to Elvis Presley. "It's not like he needs the money," says Worden. "I think it's cool that he's decided to do this." Even so, this might be the last time we hear the words "cool" and "Elton John" in the same sentence for a while.

Sunday, February 25, 2001, 2:51am

     I was still awake, so I decided to play with my website some more. I've noticed that I have developed a trend. I get no sleep on Sunday, Tuesday, or Thursday nights due to early classes on each of the following mornings, and I get lots of sleep on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights (eight hours or so). Also, Friday night has invariably become my out-and-about night, while my Saturday night is the night when the exhaustion catches up to me and I lie around semi-conscious all day doing nothing. It is very nice. However, in that doing nothing state, I am just conscious enough to sit in a chair and move my arms and fingers to navigate the internet and such... so here I am. And now you know, more or less, my weekly schedule.
     But that doesn't mean anything, really. That's my life, not yours. But let's analyze it anyway. My life consists of school, homework, sleep, necessary functions of life (eating, etc.), and free time. My free time is mostly divided among my friends and family and my personal time, with each of those divisions divided again. I would say that I endure roughly forty-eight hours of sleep per week, fifteen hours of school per week, another ten hours of homework, four hours of driving per week, and roughly seven hours devoted to the necessary functions of life. That's roughly eighty-four hours, or roughly one half of my week gone to what I feel to the necessities of life. That leaves roughly eight-four more hours that I am free to divide between my friends, family, and myself. I would say that Claire gets roughly thirty of those hours, friends get about ten, family gets about five (they know me well enough by now), and another ten or so goes to some odd combination of the three. This leaves twenty-nine hours, or twenty-eight because I always watch the X-Files for an hour on Sunday nights. So I have four hours per day left as personal time. Most of that personal time is wasted in the manner that I am wasting it now, on the internet! Occasionally I just sit back and read, listen to music, stare into space, or rarest of all, I might watch a little TV - all of those activities combined get maybe two hours per week.
     So you understand my life now, or you are more confused than ever. Either way, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that I just added a new band to my top ten list that is not kept in any order at all (besides alphabetical). The band is Stabbing Westward, and if you are not familiar with them, then you need to be.

     Site changes are imminent. My guestbook is being moved or removed or something like that, and I don't know any of the details yet because there was no warning. I hope I didn't lose my guestbook entries, as if they really matter. Also, my message board is going the way of the dinosaur. The company providing it has decided to dump that particular service, and so it goes. With their loss I will likely create something to take their places. Also, I am going to the beach for a few days; I'm leaving Friday and returning the following Wednesday, or so the plan goes. If possible, I will update my site from the beach. If I cannot, then I will flood you with my collection of from-the-beach updates when I return on Wednesday. We have five days to prepare together. Good night, my children!

Saturday, February 24, 2001, 9:52pm

Why is sex vulgar?

Saturday, February 24, 2001, 8:52pm

     "Our being together is one of those things that is just meant to be, like time and space and sliced bread."

     Where would we be without sliced bread? In the same place, only more annoyed because we would have to slice the bread ourselves. Then again, one cannot underestimate the importance of sliced bread. The entire course of history may have been shifted with the advent of sliced bread. Imagine your grandfather making a quick sandwich before running to catch that train. Without sliced bread, he would have had to slice it himself, and he would have missed the train, and he would have never met your grandmother, and you... Well, you would have never even been an idea.

Saturday, February 24, 2001, 8:18pm

     The reasons behind the question are not important; only the question is. We were discussing the song "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye, and it was the only Marvin Gaye song that I liked. As a result of this discussion, a question emerged from Claire's mind, which I must now ask the rest of you: What song would you most like to make love to? And no, Claire and I were not discussing this for personal reasons. And no, Claire and I were not alone in the conversation. (I had to cover some bases, there.)

Saturday, February 24, 2001, 7:22pm

mp3otd: Eric Clapton - Superman Inside.mp3

     My train of thought derailed months ago. It's wondering somewhere in the vicinity of the crash site, but I'm not sure exactly which direction it went. I'm sure it will be found.

Saturday, February 24, 2001, 5:31pm

     An idea just popped into my head. I happen to believe that it is creative, but I also believe that most of you will see it as a blatant attempt to be funny and that most of you will see it as stupid and not as good as before. Oh, right, the idea. I have noticed that I have been using "on a sidenote..." quite frequently lately, and it hit me that perhaps renaming my web site from "story of my life" to "a sidenote" could be in order. I immediately saw several consequences: annoyed webmasters adjusting their links begrudgingly (all three of them), the connotation I explained above, and that perhaps such a title is a bit too cute. However, I think it would be nifty for others to see links to my site like this:

     On a sidenote today, crash decided that it would be best to discuss potential plans for his site, but instead of making the decision as any webmaster would and should, he talked around the issue and made it seem as though he would like feedback before taking such a drastic step. Hah...

Saturday, February 24, 2001, 5:08pm

     Matt, if I may make such a request, is it too much to ask that you either indent or separate your paragraphs? I find it mildly annoying (but never so much so to skip the read) that you neither indent nor double space the first line of your paragraphs. I would have contacted you personally, but it had to go here. The gnomes told me to.

Saturday, February 24, 2001, 4:58pm

     The internet is experiencing technical difficulties. I touched upon this briefly a few days ago. I agree: "Owing to the fact that I test my site under Internet Explorer, I would highly recommend using it as your browser for either Windows or the Macintosh."

Saturday, February 24, 2001, 4:39pm

     What is it that Bill Gates and Microsoft has done that is so horrible? For the past few weeks, and really for the last several months, and, to some extent, even the last few years, I have heard complaint after complaint about Microsoft's sticking their nose where it doesn't belong and unfair business practices and monopolistic ... whatever. This is what the anti-Microsoft side sees. The Microsoft side sees that Microsoft is right in all that Microsoft has done. I am on the outside here, on the consumers' side, but if I would be closer to the Microsoft side if I were forced to choose.
     What is it that Bill Gates and Microsoft has done? Bill Gates has made it possible, despite selfish motives, for nearly all average people to use a computer. Microsoft has made it possible for nearly anyone to perform nearly any computer task without being a computer genius. Microsoft has helped to level the playing field, so to speak. As a society, we so often speak against hierarchical entities (social, political, whatever) that attempt to restrain those that are less able or less fortunate. I have delivered rants many times speaking against the "social hierarchy of educational environments" (i.e. the caste system in the local high schools); this is really no different.
     What I believe is happening now, through the liberal technologists' attempted coup, is that technology will be thrown back into its hierarchical roots, in which only the "elite" will know the how-to's and the average person will once again be required to depend on these "experts" to perform a variety of tasks. Bill Gates and Microsoft have spent years making several computer tasks much easier, minimizing the effort and knowledge required on the part of the average consumer to get work done. Perhaps this is just aiding the lazy, but perhaps what is perceived as laziness there is actually another task that, just maybe, is more important/
     In an attempt to see another side of the argument, this could be one of the only ways to preserve the technological age. The more elite technologies have always been kept from the average consumers, and only when they can be understood by a greater population can those technologies be allowed to the average consumer.
     There is also concern for the technological occupations in the future. If every Joe and Jane know all the basics about even the most advanced functions of computers, then what for those Joes and Janes that are trying so hard to make a career out of technology? Survival of the fittest kicks in hardcore, in this situaiton, and the weaker of the "elites" (including me) will be kicked to the side and forced to adjust their game plan.
     As you can see, there really is no single solution, and I have most certainly skipped several key factors and players that figure into this equation. I am not writing this as a professional, but only as an individual who is concerned and perturbed by a large amount of what I hear about it. I am no expert, I assure you, and so my opinions are only based on what I know. Feel free to enlighten me. If your "enlightenment" consists of anything to the effect of "why can't you just ignore what you don't like?" then I will politely respond by BITING YOUR HEAD OFF (in a manner of speaking). Good day. :-)

Friday, February 23, 2001, 1:30am

     I am about 80% through studying for a first session final that I have tomorrow. I do not expect it to be a big deal, but I had this guy last semester, and despite the class being an incredibly easy A, I almost blew it by almost bombing the final. I ended up with an 80 on the final because, luckily, someone told me the kinds of things he typically asks for. So this time I'm not taking any chances. I like to think of myself as a better bowler than tennis player (because I am), but tennis was a much easier class to get an A in. The physical test in tennis was very easy and the grading was lenient. In bowling we have to bowl 160 games for an A. Normally this isn't a problem, but we are at a bowling alley that I am not used to and the balls there suck (isn't that ironic? *snicker*), so I've only done it twice. So the final is more important, this time. I think he'll grade us all very leniently for our bowling scores, but still.
     I am happy that my English paper turned out to be due on Monday. Had it been due tomorrow, tonight would really suck. I still have a story to read. Notes have finished printing, so I'm going to wrap up all current conversations and head back up to my room to finish my work and get some sleep. Hasta la vista, baby.

Thursday, February 22, 2001, 10:45pm

jpmccord: I'm an optimistic realist. HAH!
Reb: i'm a straight idealist
jpmccord: i'm somewhat of an idealist too.
jpmccord: I am the ideal optimistic realist!
Reb: heheh
jpmccord: i like the double meaning of ideal.
Reb: cynic at all?
jpmccord: only a very few and very specific issues
jpmccord: i'm usually very optimistic
jpmccord: but i often take the opposite side to everything
jpmccord: because i have a very open mind
Reb: lol
jpmccord: so open, in fact, that i never accept the first answer as necessarily the right one
jpmccord: i consider other options
Reb: cool
jpmccord: and then when i realize that my opinion is stupid, i contradict myself and agree with the first person :-)
jpmccord: or so it goes in my english class

Thursday, February 22, 2001, 10:32pm

     My "prayers" answered: Reb adds Do you believe in God--Part II. Sweetness. She raises some very good counterarguments. So our opinions clashed a bit, and I am left thinking that neither of us are wrong, but that she is closer to right. I agree that we should not tear apart others' beliefs, as that would be tearing apart a man, which is certainly not a good deed. However, I also realize that I am not fulfilling my supposed duty to spread the "truth," if it is actually true, and so in that case, perhaps I am not the greatest Christian. But all the same, I do not want to be the best. I never have. I want to be me. I am an individual. I want to be the best person I can be for me. I want to be happy and comfortable, and I want those around me to be happy and comfortable, for my happiness and comfort is derived from others'.
     Along the same lines, Tony and I had a mini-argument tonight concerning, among other things, my political convictions. We both agree that if I were to be a Republican or Democrat, I would most definitely be a Republican. However, I decreed that I would never claim to be a part of any political party (unless I started it). Tony disagreed. Tony "believes that, given [my] outlook and philosophy of living life, [I] will end up being a proud member of the right [the Republican Party] at some point in [my] life." He understands that he is only sharing what he believes, and that he could be wrong. That's just what he thinks, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, I was quick to counter that, because of my philosophies of life, I could never claim allegiance to any political party due to my devotion to individualism. Political parties represent conformity in nearly flawless form. I can nearly guarantee you that every Republican disagrees with several issues for which he claims support because of his ties to the party. I do not believe in this. I believe that, as individuals, we should all stand up for exactly what we believe. Then again, I also believe that a government run by nothing but individuals would never get anything done.
     So I will concede one unspoken point to you, Tony, and I will retract one point that I made earlier. I agree that political parties are necessary for our government to work. Optimistically, a democracy by individuals instead of political partisans could work, but realistically one could not, and so as an optimisitc realist I must draw a line between the two. So despite my vehement opposition to political parties, meaning that they are not for me, they are quite necessary for our country to function properly.

     On a side note (I try for at least one side note per day), this is the first time I have ever updated the site nine times in one day. I apologize for the flood. :)

Thursday, February 22, 2001, 9:07pm

     I just got one of those chain-emails from someone that I have repeatedly told not to send them to me, but she does it anyway. So I responded to it. The email said, "Since the Pledge of Allegiance and The Lord's Prayer are not allowed in most public schools anymore because the word 'God' is mentioned, a kid in Arizona wrote the attached NEW school prayer." The email then goes on with the new school prayer that basically criticizes our government for not allowing mass prayer in school. Here is my response:
     To share religious beliefs in school should be against the rules unless they include all religions. I don't know about you, but if I were Hindu or Buddhist or Muslim, I would not want to sit through any type of Christian anything. I would not create any big fuss about it, but if we are not representative of all religious groups, then we should not discriminate against those that we do not include.
     I am a Christian, but I do not believe that expressing our beliefs in school is necessary. Church is for religion and religious education. School is for education and preparing us for the business world. Just my two cents...
     Also, Jesus would never be ashamed of someone for something so petty; it isn't in His character. If our God is a fair and just god, as He is always described, then He can see our honesty and consideration for what it is. Then again, if it is supposed to be our duty to spread His ways, then perhaps I am not forfilling my duties as a Christian. I do not believe that I should persuade people to change what works for them. What works for me works for me. Sharing opinions or beliefs are their own things. Telling someone their opinions or beliefs are wrong is, well, wrong.

Thursday, February 22, 2001, 8:46pm

     Perhaps the greatest post ever in a weblog that isn't mine: Good American Job. Incidentally, she still needs to wrap up her little spiel, Why do you believe there's a God?, that she said she would, um, do. So, get to it Reb.

Thursday, February 22, 2001, 8:20pm

     Natasha was banned from #waferbaby today. She was messing with the only channel bot (banned it), a big security risk, and BlueCalx banned her. I cannot really blame him, but I would not have banned her. I would have just deopped her, gave her a good verbal lashing, and not opped her again until she realized that the bot had to stay. Many of you may not understand. Many of you may be saying, "don't take IRC so seriously." I don't take IRC seriously. I don't care about IRC. I care about the people that I communicate with through IRC. It just so happens that IRC is the most convenient medium through which to communicate with them all, and so #waferbaby is somewhat important. That's how I justify that. Also, Natasha, you are unbanned. I had you unbanned about fourteen seconds after you left, but because you were in a rush to be pissed at Nick and stop checking your email forever, I was unable to get the message to you. Either way, come back. And stuff. Or something.

Thursday, February 22, 2001, 8:09pm

     Nickd.org and I share similar tastes in music, occasionally. Dave Matthews Band rocks our faces off (using his words), and the Propellerheads are nice.

mp3otd: Propellerheads & Shirley Bassey - History Repeating.mp3

Thursday, February 22, 2001, 6:21pm

     Oh-my-osh-kosh-b-gosh! I forgot to mention that. What did you think of Eminem's and Elton John's collective performance last night? I thought it was absolutely incredible. Eminem is the man. He has courage that no one else does to spout off such contraversial lyrics. Did anyone ever stop to think that, despite the message he sends out, that he is speaking the truth? He is bringing light to the dark side of some lives, and he's only been criticized for it. The man is an artist, and he happens to be in the music industry. I am not a fan of rap or hip hop, but I like Eminem's work. I do not own any of it, nor do I plan to, but I can respect it for what it is and I do enjoy listening to it (if it isn't overdone or overplayed). I typically avoid his rants on gays, though. :P Also, people always like to criticize him. Do they not listen to track one of his CDs? They very clearly state that he is not serious and that kids "should not try this at home." I think that we should get off his back and let him be who he is.
     If he were not a celebrity, would you still care?

     Another thing upon which I would like to touch: Jon Stewart. I've never disliked Stewart, but I've never liked him either. I've never watched his Daily News program because I did not enjoy it. However, the man is a comical genius, much like Eminem is a musical and lyrical genius. Do you want to know what I enjoyed most about last night's Grammy Awards show? Jon Stewart. My favorite line of the night was Stewart's comments that we were going to hear a particular piece "in E Major because we all know that D Flat would just suck!" I laughed so hard at that.
     Also, I made a mistake above. Jon Stewart was not the best part of the night, although his continuous presence is what I was looking for. The best part of the entire night was the Blue Man Group. Those guys are awesome! I loved them in the Pentiun IV commercials they kept showing. My goodness those commercials are hilarious... I'm now the Blue Man Group's biggest fan.

Thursday, February 22, 2001, 6:00pm

     I apologize for getting this to you late. I did not exactly go home Wednesday night, and I did not have time to add it this morning, so you're getting it now. Notice the date and time; you can figure out the rest.

     So as you can see, I am a bit perturbed at the moment. Ugh, Calculus. My easiest class is not supposed to be my hardest class. And if that weren't enough, my next lowest grade is in my basic hardware class. GOOD GOD. I want a nap.

Thursday, February 22, 2001, 5:39pm

     I meant to make a few comments on the Grammys this morning, but I had no time to. First thing's first: Steely Dan? What the hell? That's all I have to say about that. Second thing's second: where was Creed? Creed did win one Grammy, the Best Rock Song for "With Arms Wide Open," but their other few nominations didn't pay off. Oh well. With bands like Steely Dan "steeling" the show like they did, and that's how it's been in the past too, I have come to respect the Grammys a bit less than I used to. I always had a great respect for the Grammys because of their reputation; after watching the shows the last few years, however, that respect has hung in the balance, and now it has all but fallen! Also, I love U2 and their new album and the song "Beautiful Day," but it was not the best in all of the categories that it won in.
     Speaking of Creed, I would like you to see why my love for them is justified. Click to see Creed's Y2K Awards. I know that you might not care about Creed, but you might be interested to see what the country as a whole thought in the last year. That link opens up a tiny window that you can close, so it won't take you away from here...
     Don't go far; more updates of the last two days of my life are forthcoming.

Thursday, February 22, 2001, 10:06am

     Americans: nationalists, bigots, and idiots. Well, I am not a nationlist (I spoke on that just days ago); I am not a bigot; but I am most likely an idiot. (I can accept it; why can't you?! Well, okay, maybe not by that definition.) I am certainly an American, meaning that according to Reb, I am all of the above things. (I've taken it out of context. She means to say that to be "American" has a negative connotation elsewhere, and she is right.) Actually, she means to say that as a side effect of this stereotype, citizens in foreign nations across the world see Americans in this way. Well, she's right. I can certainly see why people would think this country is full of bigots; it is. I can certainly see why people would think this country is full of idiots; it is. I cannot certainly see why people would think this country is full of nationalists (I only think I see it), because the great majority of Americans spend so much time thinking of themselves and chasing that "American dream" (that is to be rich and famous, or in other words self gain) that to be nationalists just doesn't seem to fit. However, we do seem to be very proud of who we are and what we are, that is proud that we are Americans and not Canadians or any other nationality. (I personally think this is a load of crap, but I'm trying to speak in general terms of my brethren, here.)
     What does it matter where we are born or where we live? That doesn't make us who we are! Sure, the conditions under which we are raised may affect our personalities later in life, but we still get to choose. Celebration of heritage is one of the biggest farces one can indulge himself in, I think. In fact, if I were atheist (and I'm not), I would say that it's right up there with religion. Do you know why I think the celebration of heritage is such a farce? Well... where do you think racism comes from? Here, let me just share with you MY definition for racism: the celebration and exploitation of heritage. (This isn't too far off from this definition.) I could go on and specify how I mean that, but I think a general definition is better. By this definition, we can see that racism is not always bad, but as for just about everything, racism has its bad side. The recognition of heritage is one thing, the celebration is the middle ground (it can be good or bad), and the exploitation... well I think you see where I am going with this.
     For those of you that may be taking offense to this, I am likely not speaking to you. If you are proud of your roots and celebrate them with your family, then your celebration of your heritage is not the bad side that I am talking about. The bad kind would be white supremacy groups such as the Ku Klux Klan. (I hate white people sometimes; I guess, then, that it was my duty to be one of them. Thanks, mom and dad! *laugh*) Anyway, I did not mean to ramble on about this for three full paragraphs. I had a couple of thoughts to share in response to Reb's comments, and look what happened. It's all your fault, Reb!

Wednesday, February 21, 2001, 8:19am

     I was just informed that my message board will be shutting down on March 5 due to insidetheweb.com's inability to support the service any further. Business is business; I'm glad I was able to utilize their service while it was available. Hah, as if I utilized their service. My message board sucks, and it always has. Not that I care, really. It was an idea, and it served the purpose that I wanted it to.
     So now the question is how I will replace it if I decide to do so. If not, then how will I compenstate you for its loss? It's not like you are going to notice it's loss anyway, except that the loss of one little link on the left over there might look funny. (I'll have to look and see; it's been there for too long for me to know what the place looks like without it.)
     Sooner or later I plan to learn PHP, and from there I will likely develop some community-based ideas around here, meaning you will actually be able to interact and share information (and hopefully enjoy it) without any extra work on your part (not too much, anyway). When I say this, I am thinking along the lines of daniel's brainstorm section, (perhaps the best section on any website on any server on any internet anywhere) but of course that's been done. Who knows what I'll do? I don't, so you certainly don't. I'll try not to disappoint! (By an extension of that, I will ask that you not set any serious expectations on me, for doing so would only give you excellent reason to be disappointed later. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, but don't expect a thing; that gets you in trouble!)

     If that makes sense to you, then that is good enough. I am about to head to school to turn in my thesis and outline for the paper that must be completed by Friday; my thesis and outline likely suck to no recognizable end, but I will not know until I get them back on Friday morning, which incidentally is when I will be turning in the paper that is only expanded from the horrible thesis and outline. In other words, if my thesis and outline suck, I'm screwed. If they don't, then I could still be screwed very easily if I write my paper in a manner that Dr. Wilson doesn't see fit. I also get my second Calculus test back today, supposedly. Trimboli is a fairly lazy guy, it seems (a real American!), so I wouldn't be surprised to get the test back on Friday. I expect an A on this test with no problem. I skipped the practice exam and most of the practice problems (in fact I usually do my English homework in there) and I still feel like I aced that test.
     This brings me to another point: the narcissistic and condescending side of me! I am not in love with myself, but I love who I am and what I surround myself in. I love and embrace the ideas that float through my head at all hours of the day, and those that cannot understand that won't, and that will be that. I realize that my views on this Calculus class may seem a bit condescending to some, but if you understand my position I do not think you would still feel the same way. You see, I am taking a Calculus I class now because the registrars were bitching about insufficient credit (they got my AP stuff late, or didn't record it, or something). I took both Calculus I and Calculus II (AP BC Calculus) during my senior year in high school and got a 100 and 97, respectively. So you tell me: do you really think I need to be in this Calculus I class to take it seriously? Or should I just know that I am going to get my A, do my best to keep it to myself in the class (but not here, of course; this is my portal!), and have a nice and shiny GPA in the end?
     Mmm, doooough-nut. *snarf*

Wednesday, February 21, 2001, 1:35am

mp3otd: Dave Matthews Band - Crush.mp3

     Yes, I know that this was the mp3otd yesterday. It deserves a second day. This song is not only incredible, but it conveys a message that relates to me in a very serious manner currently, and I think it should be recognized. Here are the lyrics; perhaps you can decipher the message I speak of.

Crazy, how it feels tonight.
Crazy, how you make it all alright, love.

Crush me,
With those things you do
And I'll do for you
Anything, too, oh...

Sitting, smoking, feeling high...

And in this moment
Oh, it feels so right...

Lovely lady, I am at your feet,
Oh, God, I want you so badly.
And I wonder this:
Could tomorrow be so wondrous
As you lay sleeping?

Let's go drive 'til morning comes,
Watch the sunrise and fill our souls up,
And drink some wine 'till we get drunk. Yeah...

It's crazy, I'm thinking,
Just knowing that the world is round
And here I'm dancing on the ground
Am I right side up or upside down?
And is this real, or am I dreaming?

Lovely lady, let me drink you, please.
Won't spill a drop, no, I promise you
Lying under this spell you cast on me
Each moment the more I love you.

Crush me, come on. Oh, yeah...

It's crazy, I'm thinking
Just knowing that the world is round
And here I'm dancing on the ground
Am I right side up or upside down?
Is this real at all, or am I dreaming?

Lovely lady, I will treat you sweetly
Adore you, I mean...
You Crush me,
And it's times like these
When I think that feeling
I know how I love you.

Come on, come on, baby...

It's crazy, I'm thinking
Just as long as you're around
And here I'll be dancing on the ground
Am I right side up or upside down?
To each other we'll be facing
My love, my love,
We'll beat back the pain we've found
You know I mean to tell you
All the things I've been thinking
Deep inside, my friend.
Each moment the more I love you.

Crush me, come on, baby...

So much you have given up
That I would give you back, again and again.
Oh, my love, many now hold you,
But please, please, just let me, always

Wednesday, February 21, 2001, 1:28am

     Sleep. School. Homework. It's an endless cycle.

     It took me several hours to pry myself away from the internet, about two hours to do some necessary housework, and about another hour to actually sit down and do it. Nope, you guessed wrong. I'm talking about the thesis and outline that I just printed out, silly! Do you remember that story about the Chinese mother and American daughter that I told you about the other day? It's called "Two Kinds" and it was written by Amy Tan, and my second major theme for my Honors English class will be written for that story. Go me.

     In slightly humorous news, Tony "literally laughed out loud" at Matt's quote (that you can see at the bottom of this page). Tony added that "your kids will have big eyes and nice backs." I literally laughed out loud at that. :-) Then my dad yelled at me from the next room because he's trying to sleep. I'd say big eyes, nice backs, warped minds, and wonderful parents! Hah! But don't worry, I'm in absolutely no hurry to have kids. Oh sure, I want them some day, but I would like a few more years to enjoy my youth before being responsible for theirs. You know what I mean?
     On a side note, does anyone know what quote I had up yesterday? I replaced my James Joyce quote last night and replaced that quote tonight, but I forgot to record last night's quote and now I don't know what happened to it! I should probably just go back and read my updates for Sunday night and see if I mentioned it, because I probably did. Oh well, thanks for your help if you can offer any. Good night.

Tuesday, February 20, 2001, 9:49pm

     I changed my mind; it was easier than I thought. The site's new look, as similar as it may be, is completely implemented.

Tuesday, February 20, 2001, 9:42pm

     It was time for some kind of change. It isn't much, but it's too much to finish tonight. I'll apply it to the rest of the site tomorrow, Thursday, or when I get around to it. Whichever comes first. Now I am really going to type my thesis and outline. Good night.

Tuesday, February 20, 2001, 8:05pm

     The following words are not my own, but they nearly perfectly identify with the situation I currently find myself in. The most wonderful girl in the world and I just happen to see eye to eye, and so after reading my page of wonderful things that people have had to say about me lately, Claire responded with her own take on her own similar situations:

     I admit that I am the type of person who could defend almost any idea or opinion, even if they contradict each other. I try not to say things just because they benefit the situation that I am it at the time, but it's hard when you want to fight for the person who you are. If you can't do that, then what's the point of even being you? Basically, I'm comfortable with the way I am and I don't intend to change just because people don't understand the way I work. If being comfortable with yourself is seen to others as being narcissistic, and defending the way you are as being condescending, then let that be seen. I do my best to defend myself even if I prove to be hypocritical in the future, but I'm also smart enough to realize when I'm being wrong...even if it may take a while.

     I couldn't possibly agree more. Thank you, Claire, for being as wonderful as you are. Now someone wake me from this dream. Someone once told me that "if it seems too good to be true, then it probably is." Are Claire and I really together, or am I dreaming? Those last four words have inspired today's song of the day:

mp3otd: Dave Matthews Band - Crush.mp3

Tuesday, February 20, 2001, 6:23pm

     I'm off to write my second of five themes for my Honors English class. The first was a success. Despite a nice assortment of mistakes and errors, Dr. Wilson gave me an A because she cares most that we read the story and know what we are talking about - not necessarily that we write the paper absolutely correctly. Either way, I expect an even better paper this time. Wish me luck!

Tuesday, February 20, 2001, 4:32pm

     I find the words with which people that don't know me try to use to describe me are... hilarious. I almost can't believe it. I have discovered that this plague of hatred toward me is confined to one very small and horrid little place called Warner Robins High School. Most people are hurt or saddened or, in some way or another, just upset when people say the things this group has said about me in the last couple of days. "What makes me so different?" you ask? They don't even know me! This is some of the funniest stuff I think I have read in my entire life, and it's all about how much they hate me and how much of an asshole I am! Why would anyone find joy in that? Because it's not true!
     Those of you that know me best, do you think that I put up a façade? Am I an asshole? Am I condescending? (I know I seem like it sometimes, but if you really know me, then you know I am just being honest, and sometimes the truth can seem painful or condescending. I don't mean it, and I think you know that.) Whatever, I'm not really concerned with it. I have all the friends I want and need, and those that I have spoken of above are certainly not them.
     So, for your reading pleasure, I have put all of their worst comments on one page so that you may read the wonderfully horrible things they have to say about me as well as my responses and my editorial comments. If this is too much, I apologize. Oh, and due to the people it deals with, this page might have a whiff of condescension. I'm really not like that; this is just my mean side coming out to play.

Monday, February 19, 2001, 10:48pm

     I want you to take this very seriously. A few friends, or so I thought, have recently come to the conclusion that I am condescending and narcissistic. Apparently I am not allowed to be happy when they are not happy. Apparently, because I like to share my optimistic opinions when their pessimism shines through, I am telling them that I am "better" then they are, and quite a few followers have been convinced so. So, there you have it, half the world thinks I am an asshole. Whee! Life is refreshing. It does come as a relief to me, believe it or not, that I am not perfect. I don't want to be perfect. I don't want anyone to expect me to be perfect. Being disliked is not a bad thing, you see. Being disliked for the wrong reasons may be, but that is not my problem; that is their problem.
     Once again, I have been reminded of who my true friends certainly or not. Every few months a small group of people decide to show their true colors to me and turn their backs because one person that they are close to decides that I am the worst thing at that particular moment. I am flattered, boys and girls, that I mean so much to you and that so much emphasis on someone is insignificant (in the grand scheme of things) as me. I am happy to be such an important part of your lives. I am somewhat shocked, however, that no matter how many nice responses I offer to your rude comments, you are all still convinced that I am putting up some kind of front.
     Oh well. Don't fall victim to confusion; I enjoy every minute of it. I don't enjoy losing friendships; I hate that part of it. But the experience is quite fun. Not only that, but as a very natural occurrence in life, and one that I am very used to by now (thanks largely to Brad and Scott), I find comfort in being able to accept this is nothing more than routine. I'll miss the friendships I once shared with you, but if you don't want any of that, then I'm not going to fight for it alone. It takes two to communicate...

Monday, February 19, 2001, 8:31pm

     I think I've updated just about enough for one day, but once more can't hurt. (1) It wasn't enough that nickd.org posted fifty haiku in fifty minutes six days ago. No. He had to go and do it again six minutes ago. Kudos to nickd.org.

Nickd.org has
just added fifty haiku
in fifty minutes.

Wow, I am in awe.
Nicholas Disabato,
How do you do it?

Suffice it to say
That nickd is so much more
than a simple man,

nickd is the man.
nickd is almost a god.
I worship nickd.

     Thank you, thank you. My four haiku in fifty minutes. Hah! And now the real reason why I decided to update for the seventh time today: I have added new pictures! Subjects include Claire, Mike, Tony, and myself. You may be enthralled. You may be frightened. View at your own risk. Parental discretion is advised.

Monday, February 19, 2001, 7:33pm

     After a brief argument with Erich, I came to realize that the seven deadly sins are pride, envy, anger, sloth, covetousness, gluttony, and lust. Note that killing, which I referred to as one of the seven deadly sins earlier today, is not one of them. I was referring more or less to wrath, without saying that. Sorry for any miscommunication. Also, despite the innumerable ways to say greed (covetousness, avarice, etc.), it is still one of the seven deadly sins. Thank you, Erich, and thank you Brad Pitt for Se7en.

Monday, February 19, 2001, 5:59pm

story about an
escape. from content.
the capacity of IE, Navigator.
notice that all web sites will be killed
or start learning techniques now.
Yes, and to define my title
of success success success success,
untitled in the end,
it contains the little boys and girls
she was having with you.
forget your music:
anything less than a killing.
truly, that I would guess that
it is now in a List Apart
and contains many other moral wrongs, too.
be lazy, kill, although subtle not to show it.
here because
we can stop making excuses
and many people need
to agree with standards now -
She saw no reason for I have died
for her daughter so you, Erich
could let myself down and
would rather dodge it:
I will be happy for success.
mad props to the depths.

Monday, February 19, 2001, 5:05pm

     I was called a draft-dodger today. I can see that many people would be very offended by that, but I am not. Do you know why? Because in the event that I was drafted, I would certainly dodge it. I have no problem admitting that. I am vehemently opposed to war, and to killing, and to those other six deadly sins (and many other moral wrongs, too). I do everything in my power to remain true to my values and my beliefs, and I very rarely let myself down, and never have I let myself down in any serious manner.
     With respect to the conversation I was having (with Tony, as some few of you may have guessed), I claimed that all that society is based on is one idea expanded on another expanded on another and so on, leaving us with an intertwined mess of ideas that have combined to form illusions of loyalties to anything and everything but the people. But really and truly, that is where the devotions lie: with the people. Those men that have died for their countries? No. The countries are only ideas, simple notions, written on paper. Because we have histories of those notions, they have come to pass as truths, but they are still nothing more than ideas. Those men did not die for the countries, but for the people in those countries, and for the ideas that in performing their deeds that they were fighting for what they truly believed, and for that I genuinely respect and admire all of those that have fought and died in any conflict as I am speaking of in a very roundabout way.
     So he then said, "Humans have no other way to communicate except through ideas. What else is there?" Valid point and good question, to which I responded, "Space and time, and lots of confusion!" We live in a world built on ideas, one after another, that has somehow managed to find itself assembled in such a manner that [arguably] provides the best possible protection for those ideas and the society that they represent. I am thankful for those ideas that I have stumbled upon, and I am happy to have friends like Tony to promote their extraction from the depths of my mind. Communication is truly a wonderful thing.

Monday, February 19, 2001, 4:05pm

     In six months, a year, or two years at most, all websites will be designed with standards that separate style from content. (Or they will be built with Flash 7.) We can watch our skills grow obsolete, or start learning standards-based techniques now. In fact, since the latest versions of IE, Navigator, and Opera already support many web standards, if we are willing to let go of the notion that backward compatibility is a virtue, we can stop making excuses and start using these standards now.
     The above is quoth directly from A List Apart for very good reason - I share the sentiments. I may not show it here because I am too lazy, but I share them. Screw old browsers; those people need to update anyway! Besides, it isn't worth it for your site to look anything less than absolutely incredible because of such backwards compatibility issues. Make your site beautiful! Compatibility with the current standards are all that should be necessary. Thank you. NEXT!

Monday, February 19, 2001, 2:55pm

     This is just wrong, but I thought I would link to it anyway. Put in my web site address for a very interesting interpretation on the "story of my life." Also, I came across Erich's hornygoat.org, as I so often do, and noticed that he linked almost directly to some of Claire's words that I mentioned yesterday. I have to agree with you, Erich, I have found someone special, someone very incredibly special. She is so incredibly special, in fact, that I lack the words to define my feelings for her properly. She knows. :-)
     And for the rest of you, don't forget your music:
mp3otd: anything and everything you can get from Napster before they shut it down.mp3

Monday, February 19, 2001, 2:37pm

     While the majority of school children around the country were sleeping in bed or playing Nintendo or watching television, I was seventeen miles from home in a classroom environment discussing a story about an American girl whose mother is very Chinese but is lives in California. The story told of the mother's dream for her child to grow into something extraordinary; she wanted her little girl to be rich and famous like the ideal little boys and girls she saw on television. The little girl, however, wanted nothing more than to be herself, for she knew that that was the only person she could be, and she saw no reason to push for anything more than what she was. Her mother constantly pushed for perfection at scores of different things, and the girl failed at them one after another. By the time the girl had grown and the mother had died, I would guess that the girl had been put through a very traumatic childhood and the mother felt as though she was a failure as a mother. I would not disagree; she pushed her daughter so hard that she drained any motivation that her child had for success. Success for the daughter, as a result of her mother's incessant pushing, was that of falling short of what her mother wanted to be. She devoted her time and energy so much to being herself that she had none left to make something of and be happy for herself. The moral of the story? Moms, dads, aunts, uncles, guardians... Guidance is wonderful - and required. Parenthood is a gift - and a responsibility. Expectation leads to success - and disappointment. More exactly, expectation is the leading cause of disappointment - no, the only cause for disappointment. Disappointment cannot exist without some prior expectation. Expect less and be happy with what you have, because in the end, it won't really matter.

Sunday, February 18, 2001, 10:55pm

     Conversation with Claire inspired this. She's wonderful. Oh yes, and music:
mp3otd: John Tesh - Valley Of Dreams.mp3

     Schoolwork is not a bother. Schoolwork is a gracious escape from the stresses of life. Believe it or not, schoolwork is not a stress, but an escape. An escape from stress. Schoolwork provides knowledge. Various knowledge increases the capacity of the mind and the heart. Education is brilliance.

     claire: what did I do to deserve someone as great as you?
     jpmccord: you left a beautiful california home for ......... georgia.

Sunday, February 18, 2001, 9:55pm

     Unless you're legally blind, you notice the change in my title graphic. That's right, it is now actually a title graphic in that it contains the title of my web page. That title is somewhat unintentional, meaning that I never intended it to be the title. "Story of my life" was just the phrase that applied. Whatever. It is now a permanent part of my page, and mad props to RuhBehKa for helping out with the graphic! So you see I'm not extremely talented with graphics... Thanks RuhBehKa, and everyone most now in turn visit her site, a cozy little spot called SpasticReb.com. Go. Now.

     Oh yeah, the server is working again. So you see my updates are coming through. You may have missed the last two updates; please go read them now. Yes, now.

Sunday, February 18, 2001, 1:00pm

     Any of you that have visited my site in the last eighteen hours or so just think I've been lazy. This is not the case. The case is that neotope.com's email and FTP are down, which basically means that I cannot update this site until they are fixed. However, this will not stop me from updating; this will only stop you from seeing what I've updated with until the problem is fixed, allowing me to show it to you. Either way, telling you all of this now makes no difference, because you won't see this until it's fixed. It's a paradox in itself, I think. I find it amusing that the person in charge of neotope.com's server calls him self Paradox. Hmm.
     Anyway, I was just rummaging through K5 as I often do, and I stumbled upon this potential news article about a psychology experiment called the Stanford Prison Experiment. Simply put, this is a "simulation study of the psychology of imprisonment conducted at Stanford University." Apparently volunteers for the experiment were arrested at random, put into a realistic prison environment, and monitored for any "results." Immediately scores of questions pop into my head about how this experiment is justified, or what was in the fine print of the contracts these "volunteers" signed. Of course they could not know what the experiment was, or it would not have been an experiment, but still... Temporary loss of freedom at the hands of the Stanford Psychology Department... I can see some violations in that. Read up on it. It's quite interesting.

Saturday, February 17, 2001, 10:36pm

     "The misinformed would call me lazy. I prefer laid-back." For this and more, clickety-click yourselves towards rustyshrapnel.com. You won't be sorry that you did. While the artistic side of this site is perhaps the side of the site that she is aiming to be most seen, I thoroughly enjoyed her rants, particularly the first on her list entitled Abercrappy and Bitch (you can guess about that to which she is referring). Also, just because the insanity of it makes it absolutely hilarious (I was wrong; somethings are absolute), read her ten things to do at an airport that could get you hurt or arrested. This child has an interesting imagination. I wish I knew her in real life. The following image is, as my knowledge serves me, originally of rustyshrapnel.com creation and placed here because, well, he looks pretty pissed (European or American meaning of the term; either applies):

     On a sidenote, as there are always sidenotes because sidenotes are my best friend, I am a bit concerned about the situation in which I have found myself of late. On one hand, I am the happiest person alive. On the other, my happiness is apparently causing a bit of unhappiness for others. This is not intentional on my part and, in my opinion, is somewhat their fault, but that does not mean that I am not to blame for it. Either way, I find myself feeling guilty, and I don't think I should, and all I want to do is make everything right with everyone involved, and I know that that cannot be done.
     I recently told a friend that life is tentative. I didn't realize the weight that statement carried with it at the time, but the implications can be mind-boggling. Life is tentative, you see. Nothing is permanent. Nothing is guaranteed. For all we know consciousness could be an illusion, and because our individual consciousnesses are our only link to the realities that we know, life can be nothing other than tentative. From one moment to the next, we are making decisions to please ourselves. Every human always makes the decision that comforts him most, no matter what. Even the most uncomfortable of decisions, because in some manner or another, it is the most comforting decision of the options available, otherwise it would have been different. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that life is tentative, and the only way to enjoy life is to make those decisions that set up your own enjoyment. I do my best to do that, as I am sure you do. The hardest part is making decisions that put others in the right position to promote such. Manipulation is a strong word, and I'd like not to use it, but on a very small scale, that's exactly what it is. (Of course the other person must see their own satisfaction resulting from the decisions they make as a result, but that can often come from illusions provided by your decisions.)
     And you see how I can talk myself in circles all night. You get the picture. This was intended to be a very short update to provide a link to rustyshrapnel.com - look what you did!

Saturday, February 17, 2001, 3:29pm

mp3otd: The Doors - People Are Strange.mp3

     Claire's not wearing any pants! Have no fear, I'm 22 miles from her at the moment. Hmph. Piece of crap.

Saturday, February 17, 2001, 2:28pm

     I would imagine that most of you don't care, because most of you have not kept up and read the other seven stories, but this afternoon I sat down and added to my collection an eighth Bames Jond chronicle, Mission: Bamesjondable. This one is my favorite so far, although its humor may be a bit tasteless here and there. Religious humor is meant to be funny, and hopefully no one will be offended in any way. If someone is offended, seek help, for you should not be offended. With that, please take the time to read the story, and tell me what you think!

     In other smaller, less important news, I have changed my quote just below. This week I was required to read a short story by James Joynce titled "Araby." I read this story about two years ago, and at that time I hated it. It was boring and stupid, albeit short, and I hadn't ever taken the time to apply the meaning of the story to life in general. However, after two years of occasional reflection and reading and studying philosophy in my spare time, I have come to relate nearly everything to life. This particular story is very short, and nearly every male should be able to relate to this story. The quote below is my favorite quote from the story, and can be found at the very end of the thirteenth paragraph.
     I've also slightly rearranged a tiny portion of the site in a way that you will probably not notice unless you are sociopathically addicted to every detail of my web page, in which case I would be very frightened, and I might just have to ask you to email me and tell me why you are so drawn to my web page. Good day.

Friday, February 16, 2001, 2:08pm

     Here we go again. Those of you that are closest to me may know a little of the conflicts I've endured with Brad Martin and Scott Siebenaler over the past couple of years. Actually, you may not, because I don't really talk about it much, because I'm generally under the impression that they're basically good people who just do not understand who I am. While they both like to oppose me in nearly every way, I can spot one key difference between them: Brad has actually matured into a young adult. Scott, on the other hand, takes everything for face value and assumes that he knows everything about me when all he can see is a few words that I like to share. Anyone that knows me knows that I "say what I mean and mean what I say," but Scott is one of those that likes to assume I always meant it the other way. I was rubbing something in or insulting someone or just being an ass. And then he likes to talk about my past relationships, particularly with Emily, and how apparently her parents just wish I would leave their daughter alone. I guess I could understand that, but since I have only seen Emily three times since we broke up, I don't quite understand why anyone would think I haven't left her alone. Oh, wait, that's just Scott sticking his nose in and speaking up on matters about which he has absolutely no clue. Then again, I'm used to that out of him. At least when Brad had his "asshole moments," he had the ability to back himself up. He would never walk himself into a corner and make himself out to be the fool. Brad always made it more of an intellectual battle than anything else. Scott does nothing of the sort. Scott just makes himself look like an idiot, all the while I'm sitting back and laughing at him. So Brad, if you're paying attention, thanks for keeping things real and keeping things interesting. Scott, if you're paying attention, thanks for being an ass. You'll be the laughing stock of my memory for many decades to come. I hope you're proud. :-)

     And that, my friends, is a glimpse of the darker side of me. Actually, I think that's about as dark as it will ever get. I don't enjoy being anything other than a wonderful person, and when I say things like that, I just want to go back and erase it all and not let anyone see what I'm really thinking. However, that's not the purpose for this log. This log is for me to look back on in [insert positive integer] years and see what I was thinking, where I was, who I was with, etc. So, there. My mean side. Isn't it hideous?

Friday, February 16, 2001, 1:14pm

     Just because it's interesting, entertaining, and maybe even educational, I think everyone should head over to waferbaby's latest brainstorm: what does an orgasm feel like for you? Hey, it's on his site. I'm just sending you there! You may as well read what everyone else has to say about it, and hey, you can answer it too. Have a good day.

Friday, February 16, 2001, 8:20am

I found the picture I was talking about last night:

From left to right, that's my mom, me, Jim (birthday boy), Claire, and my dad. Note the little pineapple boat in the center of the table with the cute little umbrella thing... Heh. Happy "sweet sixteen" Jim!

Thursday, February 15, 2001, 11:51pm

     Ah, yes. Now I remembered why I wanted to update my site tonight. We had a very interesting conversation at lunch today. When I say we, I mean about half of my psychology class. We took a trip to the Tubman Museum in downtown Macon, and we ate a little spot called Len Bergs about a football field's length away. We discussed many things: why certain people don't get drunk as easily as others, how sex plays a role in every day life and conversation, why Hitler should have won the war, and more. The best part of the conversation, and perhaps the most contraversial, was something that I inadvertently started (and I forget how). Michael and Kristi got pretty animated in discussing political, social and sexual dominance after I brought up Hitler (Tony's influence, it happens). Kristi seems absolutely convinced that men rule the world, while Michael seems convinced that women rule the world. I offered my opinion that no one rules the world, but individuals rule their own lives and allow themselves to be ruled in little ways here and there as part of the imaginary social contract into which they were born. I didn't ever get the chance to word it in quite that way, but I did get my point across that no sex dominated the other absolutely, but people of each gender are dominant or not and so naturally the stereotypes exist. Also, I found it particularly interesting that the guy was insisting that this is a girl-dominated world, and the girl was insisting that this is a guy-dominated world. Lots of psychology in that! It was about this time that Matt, a good friend of mine of late, shared an interesting observation: "You're probably the most genuine and normal person in here, and you're the outcast." Those are not his exact words, but they're close.
     Hmm, I'm nice. I'm considerate. I try to be. I want to be comfortable, and I'm comfortable when people around me are comfortable. I want to be happy, and I'm happy when people around me are happy. So naturally I do what I can to keep people comfortable and happy. It's my way of life, for the most part. Once in a while I perform a selfish deed, but everything is selfish to some degree, no matter what you have to say to the contrary. I only try to provide the best for everyone to the best of my ability. I hope I'm doing right.

Thursday, February 15, 2001, 11:16pm

     Friends, etc., you will have to understand that I am enduring a very busy stage in my life, and my web page may start to reflect that. Over the last ten weeks or so, I have been able to update and add and comment and so on and so forth very regularly. In fact I think I have missed only two days since late November. *shudder* That could be very unhealthy. However, speaking of health, I am quite glad that I have been blessed with the most powerful immune system on earth after reading the details of the daily life of the personality of nickd.org. (I like connecting several prepositional phrases together, especially when they all use the same preposition. Tony would shoot me, probably. He might anyway.) Nick, I do hope that you get to feeling better. I spiritually donate one half of my immune system to you. (I send it in the form of referrals, so your health depends solely on HOW MANY TIMES MY VISITORS GO SEE YOUR PAGE!) Did you lovely crash.neotope.com addicts catch that? You are responsible for filling Nick Disabato with health again. So