After careful and extensive research (methods which will not be revealed on this page due to mature content),
I have determined that girls are just as horny as guys. (Pardon me for being informal with this.) The
implications of what I call the "Horniness Equilibrium" are profound! Now that the truth is out, people of
either gender can be equally frustrated by not getting any!
While I'm on the subject (well, the opposite anyway), let's talk about sex for a moment. Most people my age
believe that all the affectionate treatment during a relationship is for the ends of getting laid. This is far
from right, and certainly shouldn't be true in any case that it actually is. Sex, while nice, is a complete
waste of time if you're not in love. And if you are in love, then it really doesn't matter that you're getting
your rocks off because that's not why you treat your partner well. As far as sex minus love goes, you're
basically using another person's body to masturbate, which isn't an incredibly nice thing to do (unless it's a
mutual thing, in which case the reasons are nearly always bad). Don't let these implications be misleading. No
matter the moral value, sex will nearly always be a wonderful feeling... physically. Not that I speak from
experience.
Tuesday, August 29, 2000
Today I made the address to my page just a little bit easier to remember. For some, the address will be
recognized as one I used long ago. For others, it will just be a lot more convenient than the others I've
used. Oh, and this one's permanent. It's been working quite well for over a year now - but only now am I
bringing it back to everyone's attention again. And while I'm at it, I may as well go ahead and let you know
that there are two of them: mccord.cjb.net and
jpmccord.cjb.net. Still, if XOOM decides to be gay, it doesn't matter that
jpmccord.cjb.net brought you here - XOOM still doesn't have to let you see my page. Big loss, right? That is
out of my control... and I'm sorry. HOPEFULLY, Nick will have a new home
for penix.net soon and I will be able to give my site a stable home again! Also, to make things simpler for
those of you who want an easier way to remember how to get to my message board, you can now use
wrboard.cjb.net to go straight to it.
Sunday, August 27, 2000
My grandfather, the original John Paul McCord, would have been 89 years young today. He was an awesome guy,
too. I've missed him, though I [unfortunately] only think about him on and around this date every year. I do
not think of that as a bad thing, I just think of myself as one who accepts death by natural means. I don't
want to damper the mood here, so I'll move on...
Bowling went rather well again last night. From May until last week, I broke 150 only once. The past two weeks
have seen me break 190 twice - the 200 barrier falling to my infinite skillz last week. Last night, I had a
surefire 200 game going. I had a strike in the 8th and 9th frames, and by getting a strike to start the tenth
frame I would have guaranteed a 200 game, or by getting a seven or higher and a spare I left it open to my
remaining bowls. However, I hit a 7 and a 2, thus a 9 for the frame, and finished at 190 even. No complaints
though - it was an excellent game.
Saturday, August 26, 2000
"People can be such bastards. I'm walking down the street, when all of a sudden we spot a pigeon trapped on a
sign - it's managed to fly into the sign and get itself wedged between the letters." [Now
I've always had an attitude toward pigeons - that
they are stupid and annoying creatures, but for the sake of the
story, let's not let that get in the way.] "I can't just walk
by, and another passer-by has the same idea, so we go into a nearby shop and ask if they have a stepladder to
get the bird down. The shop assistant nonchalantly says just to leave it there, as this is evidently not a
grave concern of his. It would take no more than 60 [censored] seconds to get the
pigeon down, rather than leave it there to die, and he doesn't even have a minute to spare? Someone decides
this isn't right, spots a set of steps, and proceeds to march out of the shop to gently lift the bird to
safety. By now quite a crowd has built up: the bird shakes its feathers as it's placed on the ground, toddles
off quite happily, and the somewhat amazed crowd applauds and slowly walks on. If a crowd of shoppers were
worried enough that the pigeon should have been rescued, is it so much to ask that someone in the shop might
have had the same interest?"
This story, and many other interesting reads, copied and pasted from the "Flashy but Trashy"
kitschbitch web site, in hopes of providing a blatant advertisement.
Not because they asked me to, but because I feel it's worth link to give! While I'm at it, how about another
qualified link? Visit www.megnut.com, a site run by a really cool chick
named Megan, who apparently is a "nut." Here's a story from her page, to help persuade you to visit or not:
After the most stressful week I've ever had in my whole work career, I was looking forward to relaxing all
weekend and recovering my sanity, but I fear I may go off the deep end instead. See there's this INSANE woman
who keeps calling me. She has called, oh, eight times perhaps? looking for Mark. [I sympathize.
I've had this problem on more than one occasion.] She's left
voicemails with messages saying, "I'm not sure if this is the right number, but if it is, could Mark call me
back?" Of course, there is no Mark at my house. So no one returns her call. So she calls again. I've spoken to
her, I've told her, "This is the wrong number." In fact, the second-to-last-time, I said, "I don't understand
why you keep calling. I told you there's no Mark here. Why do you keep calling me? Why?" I really wanted to
know, because I don't get it.
Aren't we all a little embarrassed when we get a wrong number? Don't you just apologize and hang up? Then wait
a few minutes, dial real carefully, watching every number, and hope it goes through? And when it doesn't, and
it goes again to the place you didn't expect, don't you give up? You realize that somehow, you've gotten the
wrong number, and there's nothing more you can do about it. Unless you're this crazy woman.
meg: "Why do you keep calling?"
her: "I just thought that, well, maybe somehow, if I dialed the digits a different way, I'd get
him. But I guess I just dialed the same number again."
meg: "Yes, you did. And he's not here. And he'll never be here, because I don't know who he is!"
I thought that statement ended it sometime last week. This afternoon, this weekend afternoon as I was relaxing
in my apartment, just basking in the nothingness, in the freedom to eat microwave popcorn for lunch, my phone
rang.
Take a quick look at the link to the message board up there... It is no longer the link to Scott's message
board, which I have used since its creation. It is now a link to my new message board, which I have created
for my site's use largely because Scott has made comments in the past about the board being a nuisance to keep
up with. If you would rather keep using his, do so. If you would like to show you love me and use mine, do
that. Either way, I am leaving links to both, and at some point far down the road, the link to Scott's will be
dropped. As long as I still visit it with regularity, that won't happen, so don't concern yourself with it.
Thursday, August 24, 2000
Congratulations! You have just survived the LONGEST drought of updates this website has ever seen! Since my
site's ... "opening" ... on September 1, 1999, I have taken been more than nine days between updates. Let me
tell you though, the past thirteen days between these two updates have been highly traumatic. First and
foremost, many of the people I have known and loved so far in my life have all headed in their separate
directions. That's right, college season! Bailee and Farinelli are down at Valdosta State. Liza and Christi
and Jennifer are up at UGA. George and Evan are up at Georgia Tech. Brad's up at Vanderbuilt (that's Barfield,
not Martin)... I tell ya, it's been a rough time for me. Despite Mike's disfortune (which took a fat
scholarship to Vanderbuilt away, that's what happens when your parents don't do their taxes), I'm glad he's
here with me at Macon State, and I'm glad Zach is still in town...
Okay, enough of that, because you all know that already and there's no point in reading it. I have a couple of
fun stories regarding the 1966 Corvette pictured above... one of which I believe I will share next time I'm
here. As for right now, I have to finish up my first college paper! It's supposed to be a narrative in which I
"show how I learned something that has helped me understand what the world is like." After hours of careful
thought on the subject, I have come to the conclusion that my life is severely lacking in inspirational
moments, and that this paper, however easy it will be to write, is very difficult to start. (Actually, I've
already written it, so I'm speaking as though it were a couple hours ago.) Anyway, ¡tranquilizarse
lentamente ahora! [meaning "simmer down now!"]
And oh yeah, I broke the magical 200 barrier this past Saturday. Write it down on your calendars - August 19,
2000, Paul breaks 200, 202 to be exact. My next target is 210, and from there I will aim for ten pins more
each time I move up. 300 will occur, say, in fifteen years! Wish me luck.
Friday, August 11, 2000
This is truely tragic news, if you love a band as much as I love Creed... Hopefully this won't affect the next
album or the way the band performs in the future! The following is quoted directly from
Creed's official web site.
Creed and founding member Brian Marshall have decided to part ways on friendly terms, citing personal and
professional differences. Marshall and Creed are discussing terms for his involvement in the future releases
of previously recorded but unreleased material. Creed and Marshall will both continue to be represented by
Orlando's Jeff Hanson Management & Promotions. Marshall plans to seek other interests and opportunities.
Although Creed will not seek a permanent replacement for Brian, they have enlisted the services of Brett
Hestla as their new touring bass player. Hestla, who is also the lead singer for Atlantic Records artist
Virgos, will tour with Creed this fall. Creed's scheduled tour dates will remain unchanged. The band and its
new lineup will embark on a 45-date fall tour that starts this Thursday in Chicago.
Wednesday, August 9, 2000
Okay, just this semester, Macon State College owes me $1575, AFTER everything (except books) is paid for.
Books should cost no more than $400 at the very most, so this leaves me with well over $1000 of money IN MY
POCKET. And think about this ... I FAILED AN ENTIRE YEAR OF ENGLISH. Okay, so think about this ... if I hadn't
failed that year of English (and a semester of History), that would probably be about $2500 (likely much, much
more) in my pocket. Okay, last thing I want you to think about. For most of you, it isn't too late. And if you
think it is, it really isn't. If your GPA is at or above 3.0 (mine was 3.2) and your overall average is above
an 80 (mine was an 86.4), then you're in good shape to receive assistance, if not a bonus while attending
college. Those of you like Scott Siebenaler, if you look and apply in the right places, should have no problem
racking up many thousands of dollars in your pocket no matter where you go. So I lied, there's one more thing
I want you to think about. If you sacrifice a FEW MONTHS (years?) now, you really will reap the benefits
later. This I promise you... SO GET BUSY!
Sunday, August 6, 2000
Sorry for the lack of recent updates lately, but it's really hard to keep up with a web page when the server
that it's hosted on has a zero per cent uptime. So, for the sake of all of you knowing, Mike Farinelli's new
nickname is Adidas. aDiDaS. AdIdAs. ADidAS. Arrange the letters any way you like, so long as it spells adidas.
(Ya know, the shoe.) All day I dream about sex.
Tuesday, August 1, 2000
I know you're all dying to know how the world came to be what it is today. Well, here's how it all happened!
An old, bearded shepherd, with a crooked staff, walks up to a stone pulpit and said...
"And lo it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the
name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called
Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, 'Why doth thou travel far, from town to town, with thy
goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?' And Abraham did look at her as though she were
several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, 'How, dear?' And Dot replied, 'I will place drums
in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply
telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery by Uriah's Pony
Stable (UPS).'
"Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And Dot said, 'There will be a
lot of banging in the land.' And Abraham replied, 'It is my most fervent wish that this be so.' And the drums
rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had, at the top price, without ever
moving from his tent. But his success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside
Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the
greedy horsefly to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for
short. And lo the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums, that no
one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up
every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would only work if you bought
Brother Gates' drumsticks.
"And Dot did say, 'Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.' And as Abraham looked out
over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known, eBay, he said, 'we need a name of a service that reflects
what we are.' And Dot replied, 'Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.' 'Whoopee!' said Abraham. 'No, YAHOO!'
Dot Com said.